Baby that refused to die

How my baby defied doctors and refused to die

Makes me wonder about my own pregnancies. I believed everything the doctors told me...
What a great ending thogh.

It's a mystery

I went for my appointment with the intake nurse yesterday and after going over my labs and medical history, she said there is no way I could have conceived with my levels. My progesterone lab on 10/1 was <0.5 which is equal to post-menopausal levels. I conceived less than a week after this lab was taken. As a precaution, they put me on prometrium suppositories and baby aspirin. My insurance would not pay for a lab during pregnancy of my progesterone level at the other doctor(nice, eh?) so they drew one yesterday. I started the prometrium last night. I hope to have the results back today. I do not have another appointment until 12/09 and they will check me on the doppler and ultrasound if needed.
I'm trying much harder to stay on the food plan. I know that could greatly effect my hormone levels and I will choke down whatever I need to until the placenta takes over(at the very least). I am 9 weeks now, symptoms are strong(nausea,tired, etc) and I just pray.
There is no way "science" was responsible for this pregnancy. No charting, clomid, timing, none of it. According to science, I have already went through menopause. I will hold on to hope and faith now. I have no idea what lies ahead.

One of "those" days

I'm having a "staring at the Infant Of Prague in my office" kind of day. Ahem. I'm sure those of you with a devotion to the dear Infant can relate. I wanted to share this amazing story which was new to me. Uplifting and I must say....thank you. Funny how God does give us what we need each day. I needed a miraculous story of a nun...

Worcester Nun Rescued 60 years ago from Japanese Internment Camp

from the story:

The cruel Japanese second-in-command, Konishi, was captured and tried for his war crimes. While awaiting execution he had a change of heart and was instructed in the Catholic faith by an American priest. Fr. John P. Wallace said about Konishi, “his embracing the Catholic faith was genuine and sincere. He told me that he had been impressed by the example of Catholic sisters and priests whom he had encountered during the Japanese Occupation of the Philippines.” [2] (page 217 Flanagan)

Sixty years have passed since the rescue, since the hard time of the imprisonment. Yet for all that, it’s certain that Sister Beata would say to “offer it up.” Her perfect resignation to the divine will has been her signature and her legacy - and her peace.

Oooh, a happy story!

My tiny 1lb 9oz baby squeezed my hand - and gave me hope

He raised his hand and gave his mother's finger a squeeze as Mr Ardill captured the moment on camera.

That moment proved to be a turning point.

(After reading the latest on Mssssss. Pelosi, I was glad to find a story of what (she claims) St. Augustine said about a 3 month old..."we don't know".)

My parent's uber-pup

Survived eight days alone in a Kentucky subdivision. Survived a vicious dog attack in her own neighborhood. She is uber-pup. Dog extraordinaire. So many prayers answered...

Hope and a blessing

Kit gives a wonderful story of her miracle baby. A good start to a Monday:

A Year and a Day

My favorite part:

The next day, my younger one (Therese/Our Lady of Fatima), came up to me with a locket depicting the Infant of Prague that she'd picked up at the Shrine's gift shop. She had been "telling all her secrets" into the locket from the minute she unwrapped it. She said, "Mamma, I told Him everything. I told Him we needed another baby. He understands."

Thanks, Kit.

Sometimes I forget...

I read a wonderful post over at Fr. Schnippel's blog on a speech his sister gave recently. You can read the entire text HERE.

Sometimes, life here with the boys(and their autism) is hard but it takes a witness like this(Tania) to realize how far both of my boys have come. My oldest son could not be left in a room alone because he would harm himself or break things(or run out into a busy street...yes, he knew how to undo locks and deadbolts). This was the norm until age 3.5. He would kick me in the stomach when I was pregnant with son #2. Other than a therapist coming in one or two days a week, I had very little help. We did not have a strong support system and with special needs children(who are unpredictable) play dates and friends were out. When son #2 came along, he was fine until age 4 when he received his second MMR and other vaccines. Within a month he lost toileting, speech, the ability to sleep through the night and making eye contact. He could only scribble when the other kids in kindergarten were making trees, letters, shapes and people. I was still very much alone to deal with daily life and we took everything with prayer and tears. Thankfully, they were given the opportunity to attend a Catholic school. This was a miracle and I continue to thank God everyday for this gift(as I know it is not the norm).

Both boys have been on honor roll, they have both made their First Communion, they have friends, they have a sense of humor. Last night at Mass, my oldest came out after Mass to extinguish the candles and they were very high. I was nervous. But then as I stood in the doorway, I told God silently that I wanted to preserve that image as long as I could. He reached all the candles. He loves serving at Mass. He has said "That is all I want to do, Mom". I have never forced him or pushed. In fact, I was nervous about him taking on such a task with his disability. But I covered my bases, made sure he was okay and he continues to amaze me. Autistic children shouldn't be able to be still at Mass(let alone serve at the altar). They usually don't make friends. They rarely are admitted to a "normal" Catholic school. It is rare that they "get" God or faith(because they are very literal). They not only "get" God but understand the faith and turn to prayer whenever life lodges a hard ball at them. So what happened? Why are they different among the different? Prayer. Maybe a gift from God. But as I watched my oldest in front of that amazing altar, I didn't want time to continue. I wanted him to stay little, and innocent and a miracle. But that wouldn't be God's will. So time will go on and things will change. They will grow up and I will pray that God leads them to be what He created them to be. It is hard for me not to be hopeful when they have defied the odds. Who knows what God has in store for them...
(Thank you, Father Kyle. It took the words of your sister for me to be so thankful for all I have. Autism and all.)

St. Gianna Molla

I missed this article yesterday regarding the 2nd miracle of this saint:

Prepare to be amazed! The 2nd miracle of St. Gianna Molla
An excellent account of the details concerning this miracle. St. Gianna is near and dear to my heart and I keep her photo on my desk, always.

Prayers for this little one

The little miracle dog that was found in the Fall after missing for eight days needs more prayers. She belongs to my parents and she had a most violent event yesterday. While walking with my mother in the neighborhood, she was attacked by another dog on a leash(walked by the owner) that was a German Shepard/Lab mix. It was a horribly vicious attack and had my mother not yanked her away from the grip of this monster, she would have surely died. The owner did little to stop the attack and the whole thing was beyond horrible. She was in surgery yesterday and is recovering at home. She had a rough night. She is so special to our family and we are so upset that this could happen. What if it had been a child? My son, upon hearing a brief, un-detailed account, replied "I think it was a demon". I told him that I did too. If you think of it today, keep my parents and their special little dog in your prayers. Saint Francis, pray for us.

PRAYER TO ST. FRANCIS
FOR OUR PETS

Good St. Francis, you loved all of God's creatures.
To you they were your brothers and sisters.
Help us to follow your example
of treating every living thing with kindness.
St. Francis, Patron Saint of animals,
watch over my pet
and keep my companion safe and healthy.
Amen.

Whoa

I big prayer is in the process of being answered in my family. I am in awe and humbled by God's mercy and love for us mere mortals. Let me just say that this movie:

Into Great Silence

...has started something wonderful and beautiful. I will keep you posted but know that I asked for prayers here and you all prayed and God listened.

A time to celebrate!

I got a call about my lab results today and they have totally ruled out Cushings Syndrome! I started to cry. I cannot express how relieved I am. So no diabetes, no Cushings and no thyroid problem. Even though I am back to square one, I am thrilled and so incredibly thankful. I have been having such trouble sleeping and last night as I lay in the dark, I told God that if a small dog can be found alive and unharmed after a week of looking, then I know that only He can give me the "miracle" of health. So tonight I will sleep well and be thankful that I can continue my vocation as wife, mother and seamstress. I had to share, as this is such a huge boost of hope for me! Thanks be to God!

"Baby" photos of our little miracle

I'm still just in awe. What a blessing.

A miracle!

Tawny was FOUND! My parents came back from their vacation and we were out all day looking. No luck. I went to get my kids from school and came home and my mother called and said "someone here wants to talk to you", it was her! I cried and cried. This is an incredible miracle! Eight days and she was found by my mom! My kids are ecstatic. Needless to say, Thanksgiving will now be a wonderful day and we will not be looking for the dog all day. Tawny is very thin and full of burrs but she is alive and was not injured. Thank you SO MUCH to all who prayed. There is no way this could have come about without prayers.
On the way over to the neighborhood to look, my parents prayed the Divine Mercy Chaplet. Within minutes, Tawny was found. Thanks be to God. I'm certain St. Anthony and St. Francis helped too.

Update on levels

The doctor's office had the final results and they are hCG of 15,213(after the 1,143 on 9/07) . Not the best news. I caved this morning, cried, resigned myself to a failed pregnancy and tried to get on with my day. I have had a bizarre "flutter" in my very low abdomen off and on today, no spotting, no real cramping of any sort. I go back tomorrow for more blood work. The hCG levels begin tapering off at this point so I'm not sure what a good number would be, I have prayed and followed the advice of many who have suggested devotions and prayers and it really helped today. Maybe God does want a miracle for us. My mom told her hairdresser today about what is going on with us and he said we were like "Job". Maybe. I still have too much to be thankful for so I don't see it that way. It is bringing our family closer and I appreciate my little ones running around here all the more right now. When you are truly pro-life, it is hard to ever imagine just not having another child. It's like breathing. My opinion, I know, but I believe it. Thanks again for all the well wishes and prayers. It has given me incredible strength during a difficult time.

My first ultrasound

I have been on an emotional trip today. I called the doctor's office this morning about the spotting this weekend. They got an appointment with the ultrasound lab and I got in at 1 pm. I was very nervous but took my St. Gerard handkerchief with me and I knew this was in God's hands. They tried first to find it with a belly ultrasound and couldn't. I have a severely tilted uterus so they had to do a trans vaginal U/S and still had trouble seeing anything. Finally, the tech believed she saw the gestational sac, wasn't sure and then said it measured at 6w 3d. At that point, the tears started. My mom came with me and I held her hand and sobbed quietly. The tech called in a doctor to try and help and they asked if I had fibroid cysts, when did I spot, was there cramping and then left me to talk to my doctor. The doctor wanted me to go to the lab and get my hCG levels tested again and ordered them STAT.

It was very hard not to be angry, to wonder why and know I put all this in God's hands and know everything would be okay. At this point, I knew it would take a miracle. The blood work didn't go well either, she blew out a vein in my arm, then in my wrist and I can barely type let alone work. I called the doctor's office for the results and they came back incomplete. She said they were over 15,000 but no idea how far over as they were still running them at the lab. So I will call in the morning and then go back on Wednesday for more blood work too see if I am doubling. I am praying for a miracle. This pregnancy is a miracle after 2.5 years of trying. It was a miracle my levels went up early on when things looked really bad. I want so badly to believe and trust that God answers prayers. My children pray everyday for this baby. So do my parents and my friends I have met online....I just don't know. I don't know if I have another 2.5 years of fertility left. I can't see good coming from losing this baby. I get angry when I think of the pregnancy forum full of pregnant teens who want to abort their babies. It is at times like this when our faith and trust in God gets pushed to it's limits and we can't see hope nor can we see how God will take the loss of a life and make some good come from it. I see people around me who "get snipped" and have their uterus singed so that God cannot bring about life ever again(this is in my own family). It is just hard.
One glimmer of hope is I found a site of misdiagnosed miscarriages and many had a tilted uterus.
Misdiagnosed Miscarriage
After all the hope and signs I could trust God and leave all my worries about this pregnancy with Him, I just want to hold onto the hope of a miracle. That the U/S was not accurate and that our little one is hiding or somewhere they couldn't see. I need to trust and hope. Really, that's all I wanted. To know God is looking after this little baby of ours and all we needed was faith. The other bad part is having no spiritual direction. Not having a priest I can trust and confide in when life throws something like this your way is a really lonely place to be. I always had that in my life and now I can only pray. Again, hard not to get angry. I will post when I know anything.

A glimpse of hope

I heard back from the doctor. He said I tested positive very early and so my numbers while low are not hopeless. He is prescribing prometrium and having me get blood work very early in the morning in hopes we get results by the afternoon. I am praying for a miracle and peace. He also talked about lab error and said when we are this early, a tiny lab error can be very misleading as far as the numbers are concerned. My kids already know there is a problem. We are going to offer up a rosary tonight for a miracle with our tiny baby. I also have hope that if he thought this was a lost cause, he wouldn't have prescribed the progesterone supplement. Oh Lord, stay by my side tonight.

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him."
1 Samuel 1:27

The Big Day

We made it through. I have learned an important lesson. God in His mercy is able to overcome even the bleakest of situations to bring about miracles. Regardless of what happened yesterday at Mass(I will get into that later), my beautiful son received a joy like I have never seen in this most precious sacrament. I am sharing this photo so you can see this is why I do the things I do. This child who no one thought would be able to get through school, much less a Catholic school, is on honor roll and just made his First Holy Communion. And all this happened because of God's goodness and mercy. Do not for a minute think the evil one did not "try" to ruin our day. My husband had 4 prank phone calls during Mass even though he had his phone on vibrate, for example. Regardless of all this "stuff"(I will post separately on that) I prayed for the aid of St. Joseph, St. Michael and our Blessed Mother throughout and didn't let this "stuff" ruin the day.
The weather was gorgeous, the dinner was excellent, beautiful cake, lots of family and friends and my dear son was a changed man. I have never seen him so happy and full of excitement. His autism usually masks these things. He made rounds after opening gifts to give hugs and thanks. This from an autistic boy. I hope by his example people can see why God allows conditions such as autism into the world. He is an example of unconditional love and of total dependence on us, his parents for almost all things in life. Isn't that what God calls us to? To trust in him only and to love unconditionally? Not even Satan could stop that boy yesterday, although he tried hard. That sacrament meant so much to him, he waited for so long, he understands love and he "gets it". If he never becomes a priest, a doctor or a fireman, he will have done all and possibly more than these. He has been given the gift to know, love and serve God. That is success in my eyes. The world will judge differently and that's to be expected.

Special prayers needed.

I got a call this morning that someone our family knows is dying and desperately needs a miracle. She is a very special mother who just gave birth and has grave complications and needs intense prayer. She is only 27 years old with 4 children one of whom is only 2 weeks old. I prayed for a miracle through the intercession of Archbishop Fulton Sheen. A local priest has asked that we ask PJPII to intercede as well. Saint Gianna, pray for this dear mother, that she may recover in a miraculous way and raise her children with her loving husband. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.