tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54690513122850790062024-03-07T19:11:25.052-05:00A thorn in the pewaut viam inveniam aut faciam<br>
I'll either find a way or make onea thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.comBlogger1123125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-85465055332551231232011-03-10T14:33:00.004-05:002011-03-10T14:49:46.737-05:00Foster/adopt update and a "wth?"<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfiK4zJzZfTcSqDYULhMvJugpA_67CK3hmXd6KONF2vAzdCnLSrwcRUyRoWdPEXx6R48X-A95qUzKAhyN9w0KB5q4JzGkLvWsgLeyFkzvsLaJ5wMgwA7nreELlaXiXKQSoOWdEuxk0F4eq/s1600/lentpic.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 338px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfiK4zJzZfTcSqDYULhMvJugpA_67CK3hmXd6KONF2vAzdCnLSrwcRUyRoWdPEXx6R48X-A95qUzKAhyN9w0KB5q4JzGkLvWsgLeyFkzvsLaJ5wMgwA7nreELlaXiXKQSoOWdEuxk0F4eq/s400/lentpic.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5582540849275701634" /></a><br />We had a panel meeting this week for our fostering adopt class. We had a state worker, a foster family, adopted teen, etc. It was good, put me in a place where I had some questions answered and we are now one meeting and 2 home visits away from completion.<br />Then. Then...CD1....a 23 days cycle. That is my official "wth?". Never had a 23 day anything. Didn't even get my HCG injections post peak and CD1. Boo for CD1. Boo, I say. Haha. At 43 I can say whatever I want about CD1.<br />So I took my 8 Femara pills...went off my HCG diet, plan on starting back up next week(yeah, I am breaking all the rules) and just dealing best I can. My friends are edging closer to their "birth dates" and I am doing okay. They are in the over-35 crowd and honestly, an inspiration so I am okay. Now if they were 20-somethings and mean to me and insensitive, that's another matter. I know all this....this stuff, this miscarriage, infertility, miscarriage, weight loss, weight gain, loss, friend 1 then 2 then another, then HCG for me, another year older, friends due dates....this stuff, is all for a reason. I just don't know what ha is. I pray that God leads me in the right direction. I also hope that if I should stop hoping, I be lead away so I can move on. But I am still here, desiring family, children, babies, mommydom.<br /><br />So there it is. In all it's glory. So tonight, a night out with the girls(I hope) and then work on my business, get homeschool grades together and get my Lent on. I need to blog hop and see what he other infertile/MC ladies are up to...a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-20452808785199750152011-02-24T19:26:00.002-05:002011-02-24T19:37:01.747-05:00A quick oneThank you for commenting on the fostering post awhile back. I am going through a rough patch with the 3 kids, starting them on a new diet(SCD) and not going so well. I don't think I will ever feel really good about my sons' autism. Right now, I'm in a bitter place and that is not good. I am putting too much pressure on myself to make them better, change things, change life and I just can't I know it is our goal to make sure our children have a better life than we do but sometimes, you just can't. It just doesn't work.<br /><br />While I should be happy for pregnant friends and warmer weather, I'm just feeling really down. I need to find something to hope for, as usual. Maybe I need my sons to stay autistic, to do a better job accepting them and move on with trying to "help them" overcome autism. <br /><br />I'm mad at the diet, mad at the government, tired of the world becoming autistic yet feeling overwhelmed. I often think that I don't know one person in my life that could handle a week in my shoes. That's not something to be positive about, not really. Unless I think that God trusted me, knew I'd be patient and strong and although I feel alone, most of the time, it has kept me clinging to Christ all these years. <br /><br />So I will pray this week, decide what to do and move on, if I need to. There has to be another way. I just have to pray that I find it.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-31574296239697901682011-01-18T07:34:00.002-05:002011-01-18T07:53:21.725-05:00I'm back!So sorry :( I have many of my blog friends on Facebook and I keep up there. Truth be told, the last 2 months have been a blur. My business and homeschool took over the months of November and December. I have also been struggling with my fertility(and lack thereof) plus going through the classes for fostering to adopt. It has been going okay, not great. I started on HCG to help with fertility/hormones. I celebrated another birthday. It was like a funeral and didn't hit me until last night. A women in the fostering class popped off a snide comment about catholics and while three of us compared notes on fertility drugs and side effects, this said woman was making odd remarks on not "speaking baby stuff". I wish I could say it's been a positive experience but I will not make a judgement call this early. We have 7 more meetings to go.<br /><br />I am a bit dead on the fertility issue. 43 is not fun. Every year I have less hope, more tears and less understanding surrounding me. I want to embrace the thought of adoption. I want to believe God has a plan and these tears are a phase. So many birth announcements, babies and births. I have witnessed miracles. I have not completely lost hope. I'm just in mourning. Is that odd? I don't have anyone here, or close, that understands how it feels or why I am sad. Uhg.<br /><br />So here is what I am doing. I have femara, 6 pills on CD2. Then on P plus 3 I start the HCG injections. I am on my 2nd cycle with HCG and I will test on P plus 7 to see what the hormones look like. I am also starting another round of the HCG diet back up later this week. I pray, I cry, I avoid the problem, I try to find hope. That's about it.(Maybe you can see why I took a blog break)<br /><br />I needed to blog after last night's meeting. It was hard. I revealed how we lost 4 babies through miscarriage. I felt alone. I will keep blogging on the fostering/adoption. I know it helps others make a decision. I already feel betting being about to log what I am going through. I pray someday I will be able to look back at how hard this has been and that I got through it. I'm still trying to decide if hope is a good thing or deceitful.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-90456010316033740122010-11-07T16:43:00.003-05:002010-11-07T16:47:07.615-05:00Infertility and FacebookI thought this article was interesting although I do not do this.<br /><br /><a href="http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/why-your-infertile-friends-may-be-hiding-you-from-their-facebook-feed-2407307/">Why Your Infertile Friends May Be Hiding You From Their Facebook Feed</a><br /><br />It never occur ed to me to block people who are pregnant. Sometimes, it actually helps me to not focus on myself and my infertile/miscarriage history. Anyway...thought it was interesting that this is a "thing" now. I can see where some women may do this to cope.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-63624634058781088622010-11-07T15:19:00.003-05:002010-11-07T15:22:36.693-05:00Starting HCG this cycle(yeah)So I am on the HCG diet. Losing weight nicely. Dr. is having me start HCG injection this cycle on P+3. I will keep you posted. For the record I am on Femara, progesterone and estrodiol on P+3-12 and now 10,000iu HCG on P+3.<br /><br />I'm having funky side pain from the Femara today so I will cut this post short.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-4651993952098101462010-10-26T13:23:00.003-05:002010-10-26T13:33:03.759-05:00Back on HCGBack on R2P2 of HCG diet. I'm trying to tell myself this is not forever. I'm not going to say that eating 500 calories a day is fun. Before you scold me(haha), you can read about the HCG called Pounds and Inches by Dr. Simeon. I feel better, this time I am down 15 lbs, but I have the dbl progesterone and estrodial to deal with(oh, and Femara). I'm not starving just thinking about food more than I should and have told myself it is the hormone supplements. I didn't have that last time. <br /><br />I recommend the HCG diet if you have thyroid issues or adrenal fatigue. I could not successfully lose weight before this diet. I ate less and worked harder than most and either lost 2 lbs in one month or nothing and sometimes even gained. I think it would be awesome for those with PCOS, too.<br /><br />So I will see where this cycle ends, hoping for a baby, trying not to be anything but a realist regarding this matter. I am 42, I love babies and children and pray for God's Will. I still hope. I've been scolded for "obsessing over my miscarriages/babies/infertility." I am only here to please God and I have asked God to take this desire away if it is never meant to be. That's about it.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-86656616279602850822010-10-04T05:27:00.004-05:002010-10-04T05:39:52.173-05:00Update. My life went crazyCD1 came and went. First there was anger and tears(52 days was the official count). Then I decided, at my age, I should be glad I even have a CD1(funny, ok, not really). Then I went through it, life got odd and I landed here.For some crazy reason, my business took off again. Not just an "I sold a few things" back to pre-Obama volume.So I am scrambling trying to keep up with school, get my fall and holiday stuff completed and get these orders out the door.<br />I've come to the conclusion if I was sitting around sulking and being bummed about things, I would be useless. I'm very busy, didn't see it coming and barely keeping up.<br />So this morning, I am up early with a "Femara" headache, thinking about fixing a pot of coffee and working before the kids get up.We went to the last Cincinnati Reds game of the season, it was dern cold. Today we are paying for not getting things done as we should. Especially me. This week should be equally frantic, I have school, work, installations, doctor appt. for kids, deadlines and maybe I might sneak in a trip to the apple farm somewhere in there. Mr. Thorn and I are trying to get back on HCG, it's been too long and I miss the feeling better, losing weight and energy I felt.<br />I'm off to either head back to bed or make coffee.I will pay for getting up early around 3:30 today.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-89781739235085078412010-09-23T12:44:00.003-05:002010-09-23T12:58:34.000-05:00No CD1, limbo is becoming the new normIt is CD49. What the stink is going on? Since I am on estradiol and progesterone, I have all these crazy preg. symptoms and my test yesterday was BFN. I didn't take my meds last night. I was mad and frustrated. I think I still am. Very sick to my stomach.<br />We sent away for a homestudy packet from a local agency and we need to fill it out so we can start. We are starting the ball rolling on fostering to adopt. Scared. Eh, I just need to get it done. Hoping to complete that this weekend. I don't like long to-do lists so I need to stop over-analyzing and just send it in. The thought of a child praying or asking for a family and we are being buttheads and not just "doing it" is bothering me.<br />So that's my story. Sorry if I am crabby. Myself is not used to this 49 day cycle thing. Femara's fault? Probably. I ate soba noodles and my lips are on fire. How's that for random?a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-19174389158046589122010-09-15T12:38:00.003-05:002010-09-15T13:06:16.007-05:0010 Surprising ThingsOk, here it goes. I am sure this will be all over the place so I suppose you can make fun. I had fun reading everyone's lists.<br /><br /><br />1. I am an architecture/history buff. I love thinking of buildings in their heyday and pouring over historical event sites. I wanted to be an architect like my grandfather when I was young.<br /><br />2. I studied directing, acting and eventually costume design in school. I sometimes miss the family spirit of the theater but realize my conservative leanings would have never blossomed in that environment.<br /><br />3. I obsessed with etiquette and manners. I stopped dating boys after the first date if they had horrid manners(or grooming). Now I just drive my family nuts.<br /><br />4. I hate northern climates. I mean really hate. Naked trees and grey slushy crap upsets me.<br /><br />5. I used to break dance and was in a group in high school. I also won a Madonna look-a-like contest during this same time period(dated myself there, huh?) I even had the slight gap in my teeth.<br /><br />6. I will talk to someone and leave out details that are important because I assume they know(when they have no clue). Hey, I know what I am talking about! Do they really need to know? Haha.<br /><br />7. I love old school country music. I love artists that invoke the original charm of country music without getting into the pop/rock realm.<br /><br />8. I live with post it notes, to-do lists, white board charts and forced organizational aids. I have to know what is on the horizon always.<br /><br />9. I love scotch.<br /><br />10. I was almost cast in the movies "A League of Their Own" and "Dogfight". I was called back but would have had to take a semester off school. The other movie they called me for final casting while I was away for Thanksgiving break.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-46276143463574119282010-09-15T12:25:00.003-05:002010-09-15T12:33:30.880-05:00CD 41??? Serious-leelly?Yes, you read that right. And I will probably go to CD 52+ since my peak day was on CD39. Never happened to me. I had one false alarm(or double peak) this cycle. I am hanging in there. I hope something happens with my P+7 labs that makes me look all right/human. <br />We started school today. I had to wait to get the curriculum and it showed up yesterday so we did a mini day today. We are using Seton this year and hope the combination of lesson plans and then grading the more intense items will help us.<br /><br />Another item on the horizon is that we are going through the home study process with a local agency. We haven't filled out the paperwork yet but it is here and we are going to do it. It is involved in some aspects. I am hoping they will not make us vaccinate to get approved. Eh, I will do what I can. We are hoping to go the "foster to adopt" route. I will post more when we get over the first hurdle.<br /><br />One of my pregnant friends went to the hospital yesterday and 34.5 weeks, her water broke and I haven't heard from her since. Keep her and the baby in your prayers. She lives far away and the family probably didn't think to contact me(don't know my phone number).a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-87099832257755192812010-09-01T18:37:00.002-05:002010-09-01T18:44:12.015-05:00Update on the cycle news...Okay, doc called, had the wrong number(yeah, I'm not a crazy hormone magnet). Doc wants me to continue using the OPK(going to get a diff brand tonight, Answer brand is too sensitive). I'm to start taking the estrodiol and prometrium 3 days after my last pos OPK reading. Then if not new "CD1", we are setting up an appt to see my charts and see what we can tweak.<br />Reds are playing tonight so I plan on keeping my mind of my baby maker woes. I need to plunge into work tomorrow. <br />Thank you, Lord, for bearing with my freak-out moments. I am humbled by how you look after me and reassure me.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-64811403534861795742010-09-01T16:54:00.004-05:002010-09-01T17:04:23.822-05:00This is what it feels like...When you are over 40, have recurrent miscarriage and are trying to reach your doctor...he never calls. This is what it feels like when the world gives up on you(rephrase that...you *feel* that it has given up on you). Too old, close to menopause, too much trouble. Whatever the reason, it hurts. I called(as per my doctor's instructions) Tuesday morning, 9am. Wednesday night, three phone calls later, he never called back. Office closed for the day. CD26, no CM this cycle, 3 days of positive OPK's. This was after I told God "I'm doing everything I can, this is in Your hands". <br />Stupid femara. I'm not living well with this anxiety. How do you know what to do when your doctor doesn't return phone calls? I am a fairly easy going patient, not demanding or panicky. I'm only following up because he told me too. I can't start estrodial or prometrium with no CM or labs.<br />This is going to be a long night.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-84420124751721716982010-08-26T22:18:00.002-05:002010-08-26T22:22:39.942-05:00An important service announcement<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg23tg5v9v78CXJuyd6mi2cZhyphenhyphenYyhqJAMgjjdqRZETGuvWc2pxix47Nb_XAoA2JGooJyX3rjTn6_ltFrxxuM7Sbb92I0X_PPkJLVkYhLtBB8GDg-s5pSPL16q7hFfIzMs74dD5q0XCgxGnE/s1600/clwsunset4by6.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg23tg5v9v78CXJuyd6mi2cZhyphenhyphenYyhqJAMgjjdqRZETGuvWc2pxix47Nb_XAoA2JGooJyX3rjTn6_ltFrxxuM7Sbb92I0X_PPkJLVkYhLtBB8GDg-s5pSPL16q7hFfIzMs74dD5q0XCgxGnE/s400/clwsunset4by6.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5509924667414038674" /></a><br /><br /><br />Here is my quote for the night:<br /><br /><blockquote>Sometimes the answer isn't no; it's just not right now</blockquote><br /><br /><br /><br />How is that for some "hope and change"?<br /><br />I'm trying here, people! hahaa thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-27350127283106399322010-08-26T10:31:00.004-05:002010-08-26T11:08:53.072-05:00An article to decribe my difficult position<a href="http://www.kyria.com/topics/hottopics/womensissues/10.66.html">Secondary Infertility - When you can't conceive again</a><br /><br />I found this article that sums up some of my odd feelings. Here is a quote I found that describes where I am:<br /><br /><blockquote>"You have lost your membership in the primary infertility group by attaining the dream (they) still long for. … Yet you feel you do not really belong to the world of the fertile." They call secondary infertility the "loneliest kind," a depressingly apt description.</blockquote><br /><br />There is not much on the internet regarding secondary infertility. That doesn't even describe my situation. I have children. I have 3. I lost 4 babies to miscarriage. I haven't been able to achieve pregnancy since 2008. I had to take a break last summer while I went through crazy labs. I am on my second cycle of femara and on CD21, still no ovulation. <br />I just reached the part of my blog post where I don't know what to say. I pray for all my pregnant friends, in life and blog friends. I don't wish my situation on others, I pray no one has to go through this. I pray that God lead me to answers and where I am to be. I don't know where that is. I need to get to work so I can avoid this part of my life for awhile. I have much to do with my new business, homeschool and keeping the kids busy. <br />Right now I need some patience so I can wait on God to finish me. Sometimes I need a reminder that He made me this way and in all other aspects of my life, I am actually a very patient person. If I was more patient(and maybe younger), I might be better at this waiting thing.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-58425875829836439622010-08-24T18:08:00.002-05:002010-08-24T18:12:36.250-05:00No "O" for meLabs back. No peak. My prog was .5. CD19 and I got nada. After a google search, this seems to happen on femara....late peak. So I will keep using the OPK and waiting for CM to appear. I have always believed that a late peak meant little or no chance of a pregnancy. Yeah, I'm jaded like that.<br />So now I will wait and pray and know that this cycle is not the end or forever. Getting older is getting harder. I'm trying to be patient, Lord.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-69141067634131173822010-08-24T08:03:00.002-05:002010-08-24T08:20:10.959-05:00Back from vacation and Femara crazies!We took an extra long vacation and I just noticed I didn't blog while away(I should have). I am on my second cycle of Femara and it's one bizarre drug. I had a 5 day cycle(on vacation, weh) and then spotted "pink" from days 7-11. No CM...at all. No idea where I am, dr. sent me to lab last night, I'm thinking peak was way early. I am not having any bizarre symptoms but I am also not on my usual prometrium/estrodial. More people I know are pregnant. Again. I broke down the day before we left Florida and cried, a lot. I prayed for so many, to achieve pregnancy, for troubled pregnancies, adoptions. I felt selfish, guilty and kinda rotten. In the end, I had to decide if these pregnant friends and people all around me are there as torture and a cruel joke or to give me hope. God is not one to play tricks or mind games. I have prayed so many times for our desire for another child to be taken away if it is never meant to be. So now I am stuck with hope. I know few if any understand why I would want more children, with the repeated miscarriage and the chance of having yet another with autism. I can't explain the hope for life and children. It doesn't make sense but it is there and it's strong. <br /><br />The vacation was good, stressful in some ways but it was a nice trip. My autistic boys need to be entertained constantly so that gets frantic after a bit. The kids wanted to go fishing in the bay which was right out our door but it was very hot and the thought of having to take barracuda off a hook with nasty teeth didn't appeal to me. <br />We are having to start homeschool late. We went with Seton this year and the special services dept must be overly busy now so we can't get an appointment until 9/9. I think we will go ahead and start their math early since we know what we are doing there. I need coffee. I can't believe I blogged before coffee.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-69264703675353894142010-07-30T16:12:00.002-05:002010-07-30T16:49:27.567-05:00Update on labs, homeschoolI had to go in for P+7 labs this week....yuck. Progesterone was good, 12.8. Estrodiol was only 35, quite pathetic. He is putting me on help for that and I'm staying on Femara and 400mg of prometrium. I'm trying, Lord. I don't want to lose hope, I have lost so much in the last few years I need to stay strong and believe God is working. We are taking a much needed vacation this coming month and I hope to clear my head then. We are starting Seton after labor day, rushing to get our CAT tests in before we leave town. Maybe we will find a shrine to visit on the Gulf to thank the Blessed Mother for all we do have in our lives.<br />I will update more later. Cod and perogies in the oven.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-13087497983584858802010-07-15T08:06:00.002-05:002010-07-15T08:23:21.094-05:00Plans and side effects. Yeah, like that.I am CD7 and my weight is bouncing around quite a bit, wondering if it is stress, the femara or salt/water whatever. I don't know. We planned our vacation and we are staying in the Gulf, not the messy part and honestly, I was not apposed to that, the people there just didn't return my phone call(Gulf Shores). We need to get away and we are being budget-friendly doing so. It will be hot, I'm sure so we will be in the pool a lot.<br />The phase of my diet is going okay, could be better. I read some people gain on femara but I did a one day dose thing so I can't see that is affecting my weight. I don't think I am drinking enough water, honestly. Today I hope to do that a load up on protein to see what happens. I want to be stable before our trip. I don't want the whole trip to be about what I am eating or not. My appetite has changed and that is a beautiful thing.<br />I am in a mess over homeschool. I was really disappointed with the curriculum we used this year. I loved the classical aspect of the books and lessons but their customer support is a hot mess. A waste of money, in my opinion. They rarely answered the phone, took a week or more answering emails...not what I paid for. We really had problems tackling the creative writing this year and instead of helping us, the advisor got all vague and moved on. So we need a new plan. I need to settle this and work on it before we leave. I am planning on doing the kids standardized tests next week. We are looking at Seton but I will miss teaching the classical elements that the kids loved like mythology, Latin and (we were preparing for) Roman history. The grammar and math programs were good too. The lesson plans and organization aspect got the best of me this year. I know the kids are much stronger in language, math, history....it's writing they all struggled in trying to find a solid understanding. The schools they attended prior to homeschool just ignored creative writing. Period. That left it all on me.<br />So I will get through. In the meantime, we hope the new plan for achieving pregnancy(and staying pregnant) will work. I have another friend who is pregnant and it gives me hope that God will hear our prayer. I don't feel old. I feel younger than I have in years after losing weight and getting my blood pressure to 120/80(last week). I have lost much more than 10% of my body weight, all good. So I ready to go where God leads me. I just have no idea where that will be.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-78559206869569875452010-07-09T22:22:00.003-05:002010-07-09T22:28:43.876-05:00Another quick updateStarting a new med. Fermara. 20mg CD2. I hope my ovaries don't explode. Just took them down with tea so I will keep you posted(my meds, not my ovaries). I read some other NaPro women did fab with this and my insurance covered it(since they have to, a breast cancer drug). Anyone conceive with this? I am getting labs on P+7 and if prog. level icky, he is bumping me up to 600mg(yow). Yeah, that's serious hormones. So I may check in tomorrow or over the weekend to let you know if I went nuts in the middle of the night after 20mg.<br />I also read women report 10 days to 2 weeks of fertile CM with this crazy method. I can't help but giggle about that....now. Will update later.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-11169571852297957072010-07-03T18:23:00.002-05:002010-07-03T18:47:26.343-05:00HCG Protocol and updateEesh....been almost a month. Sorry about that. A quick update as we are preparing for 4th of July here tomorrow. My total loss during R1P2 of HCG was 40 lbs.<br />I am now on a similar plan to Atkins to stabalize my weight. Then we will start adding back in healthy grains, etc. in a few weeks then vacation. I will be going to the doctor this week and hope to get some help with luteal phase and ovulation. I will keep you posted.<br />Sorry so short. Much to do and cleaning out all the clothes that are too big. Hope everyone has a safe 4th of July!a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-58015783237241844282010-06-07T07:57:00.005-05:002010-06-07T08:15:19.138-05:00Starting on a new meI have been very busy trying to wrap up the end of the school year with the kids and really focus on my business. I also took my health into my own hands since no doctor has been willing to take the time and diagnose me(running lab after lab is not my idea of good medicine). I have been on the HCG Protocol Diet for 3 weeks and have lost 27 lbs. I have a lot more to lose but I have hope that I will get there. I prayed so hard for health and being able to successfully carry a child to term and I hope I am on that path. Before you jump on me about how unhealthy this is, google and read the success others have had. I looked into this for almost a year before starting. I am down a full size in clothes and can run up and down the steps and more since losing the weight. I was never diagnosed with PCOS but I did feel my age and weight were keeping me from success.<br />Now, the downside. I have what they call the "HCG Rash"...when you lose, it opens the fat cells and releases whatever toxins and fluids are in there. That goes to the bloodstream, hence the rash. I told Mr. Thorn to just call me Polka Dot. Hopefully it will leave quickly. Until then, I need to take it as a sign the protocol is working. The other bad thing is I have had to discontinue my progesterone at P+3 because it contains oil which will make me gain weight. I'm not sure how long I will stay on this round. I was hoping to lose about 40-45 lbs the first round so we will see. I recommend anyone who has struggled with early plateaus or little to no weight loss after much struggle to do this.<br />So, unlike the raw diet(which I liked a lot, to be honest), I stopped menses and it scared me so I had to quit. That is not the case with this and I have read accounts of many women who couldn't conceive until they used this protocol. I prayed to hard for this to be another dead end. I will keep you posted on my results.<br /><br />Oh, also, I did some research on "Estrogen dominance" and the findings are shocking. Many men and women develop auto immune disorders and have serious fertility issues and the main culprit is COFFEE. Uhg. I ordered a substitute from Amazon, hopefully be here tomorrow. Coffee was getting me through this diet and now its gone. Yes, I was an addict. I will live. Yes, I have a headache...lol.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-89903208055733584992010-05-24T13:30:00.003-05:002010-05-24T16:03:29.242-05:00Confirmation Covington styleI was asked to be the sponsor for confirmation yesterday and happily accepted. It is such an odd thing when you mix tradition and aesthetics of liturgy with modern style and fads and then produce a homily telling the congregation not to give into the world and modernism. Irony, I suppose. It was a blending of chant with gospel(seriously), reverent boy servers with girls that(sorry for the reference) reminded me of Jedi fighters(their mode of dress) and although we had 4 priests and one deacon, the cup parade was brought out at communion as reminder that "we are all one". Eh. While I can say it was no where near as dreadful as the first communion of a few weeks past, it was odd in the mix of orthodoxy and protestant "inclusionism"(if that makes sense). Not everyone needs to be on the altar. It is not a right. Just as I don't want a priest running my business and, God forbid, sewing for me or doing my taxes, I also believe it is not our call as laypeople, to do the job a bishop or priest is called to do. You don't need to have a cup, serve to prove a point(or because you can), etc. I would love to see a "no, you are a girl/woman, I need to encourage the boys to serve and here is why..." in our diocese. See it without the priest getting a wrist slap, that is. Can you imagine the vocations we could have in Covington with implementing all boy servers in each parish? If people are taught the truth and girls are given another job or club in a parish, it could foster so much more.<br /><br />On the girl servers:<br /><blockquote>In July 2001, the Holy See’s Congregation for Divine Worship issued a response to a bishop’s question (dubium) concerning the possible admission of girls and women as altar servers. The response, a further explanation of the Circular Letter to the Presidents of Episcopal Conference, March 15, 1994, no. 2, that granted permission for bishops to admit female altar servers, made it clear that only a diocesan bishop may decide whether to permit female servers in his diocese; furthermore, that no priest is obliged to have female servers, even in dioceses where this is permitted. The letter stressed that no one has a “right” to serve at the altar, and also strongly reaffirmed that altar boys should be encouraged</blockquote><br /><a href="http://www.catholic.org/featured/headline.php?ID=686">More female server info</a><br />On the mix of chant and full out gospel song that was performed after communion...no clue. That choir is so good and strong, I just don't get it. It is weird unless, they felt the need to get with the times(which was the whole point of the homily).<br /><br />All in all, it was good to see at least a semblance of orthodoxy in the diocese. Being a pontifical Mass, I would be shocked to see the rave/club/puppet show environment we experienced at the first communion. Thankfully, I was not shocked.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-91674787621334567642010-05-24T13:03:00.002-05:002010-05-24T13:29:53.755-05:00Kentucky Politics after a needed breakI took quite a bit to post after the primary. I needed a break from it since it was emotional and frustrating. Most of my fears are now being realized as the truth about Rand Paul comes to the surface. The man who ran as a conservative republican is now surfacing as a radical libertarian(as I have known for months). I let go of the arguments, the ignorant assumptions and the loss of friends(who thought I was the one that was nuts.) I have moved on knowing that I will either be writing-in in November or hoping that the KY GOP wakes up, flexes their political muscle and gets rid of Paul.<br />I no longer consider myself as part of the tea party. They are not founded in principal or values. They only represent fiscal responsibility and as our Kentucky primary has shown, people are willing to forgo all conservative social principals in exchange for a rogue eye doctor who ran as a republican and is now being outed as a libertarian. I will not have a part in that. His life stance, ever evolving, is purely libertarian and to believe otherwise is disingenuous.<br />I have lots of "dirt" on Rand Paul. Some of it has been scrubbed from the internet after the primary(or after Maddow's show, I should say). The generalized problem with libertarian thought is that it teeters on anarchy. I doubt the GOP will be able to rebrand Paul and Adams after all the skeletons in the past. <br />For the record, Conway, his opponent, is pro-abort, pro-cap n' trade, pro-ObamaCare among other things. I get that, don't point it out to me.<br />I knew the democrats were sharpening their teeth waiting to sink into Paul quickly and forcefully. And they though Grayson ran a negative campaign? He was trying to save us from this schlock.<br />I will sit back and see what transpires. I don't have an iron in this fire now so I can be less emotional regarding the outcome. You can't answer the radical that is Obama with another, being Rand Paul. There are those of us in the middle that realize you are all nuts and you won't change our minds. I believe you need to have a generous serving of social conservatism or you won't get my nod. I know many who feel that way. You can't win elections without social conservatives.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-72702226481567939112010-05-11T14:08:00.006-05:002010-05-11T15:07:50.148-05:00Pro-life Kentucky and the domino endorsement syndrome<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS0P68mv2ZM04YLWO9DUu4ZH30yJ3Ka9qN-jZyE40Z4FwSNpMyUP74HGfeZkPo1Bp7zkKajX5iiMD78B0I4Sm9x6j5EFLHrOhYBRLEqbzYmtRJsp0WgWy0Z3gA2aAOi7LsR6A7rez6Lrls/s1600/lemelect.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 305px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS0P68mv2ZM04YLWO9DUu4ZH30yJ3Ka9qN-jZyE40Z4FwSNpMyUP74HGfeZkPo1Bp7zkKajX5iiMD78B0I4Sm9x6j5EFLHrOhYBRLEqbzYmtRJsp0WgWy0Z3gA2aAOi7LsR6A7rez6Lrls/s400/lemelect.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5470105201308342162" /></a><br />I have put off posting because this primary has become farcical to me. For some reason, the great people of Kentucky believe this race is something so completely new and wonderful, unlike anything they have ever witnessed. It is 2008 part deux. Obama ran his campaign as a moderate, gave hints of his "redistribution of wealth" but played it clean and smooth. No one wanted us to look at his pastor, his Chicago "friends", his Acorn associates and union ties. Now we have this radical overhaul of life as we know it unfolding and everyone is scratching their heads.<br />Speed forward to KY, 2010. Rand Paul, who helped his father Ron in past elections, has close ties with friends in Code Pink, anti-war activists, conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, The Liberty Movement and too many others to list here. Rand Paul is "running" as a conservative republican.<br />Because the damage done by two so-called pro-life groups, Concerned Women for America and NKRTL, he waves those as banners that he is pro-life. Paul has never worked for a pro-life group, a pregnancy center, a women's crisis center or voted on any pro-life legislation. Do these pro-life groups only go by the answers on their surveys? Must be. Paul has a history of flip-flopping on partial birth abortion and has a quote in the news that he supports the morning after pill. So you endorse him anyway and lead thousands of good Christians astray? Or produce a <a href="http://www.nkyrtl.org/FACTS%20vs%20spin%20-%20revised.pdf">24 page explanation</a> of why you endorsed him. If you were so sure of the endorsement, NKRTL, you wouldn't need to explain in the newsletter, then again on the website. If you were truly worried about the lives of the unborn, you wouldn't be working so hard to discredit Kentucky Right to Life Association and their endorsements. They have different criteria and they do research and have a larger voting body to manage the checks and balances of candidates. You wouldn't be working so hard to "prove" you were right. And for the CWA, stalwarts of<a href="http://www.cwfa.org/articledisplay.asp?id=10327&department=LEGAL&categoryid=life"> no exceptions for using the morning after pill</a>, why would you endorse a man who <a href="http://www.middlesborodailynews.com/view/full_story/5661743/article-US-Senate-hopeful-Rand-Paul-visits-Middlesboro?instance=home_news_lead">supports this method of killing children</a>? Maybe it's all about money, for both groups. I see no other logical explanation for these 2 endorsements.<br />If anyone watched the debate on KET last night, Paul is avoiding the abortion issue and going vague(again) because the more he talks, the more he has to cover his tracks. The latest was a nasty letter I received that appeared to have come from a "friend" of Grayson which turned out to be from Bernie Kunkel/Friends of Rand Paul with a Virginia presort stamp on it. After looking into it, "Bernie" cropped photos together of Trey and various democrats to make it appear they are all friends. Misleading and intellectually dishonest, is it not? Kunkel contributes to NKRTL and his employer, Bavarian Waste, is a large donor to the Paul campaign. The kicker was his use of Grayson's wife and children in this mailer, to lie about their involvement in a "clean parks" campaign in Boone County. The wording made it seem like they were in scandal. I was shocked. As far as I know, this mailer blanketed Northern Kentucky. And Paul had the nerve in the KET debate to call Grayson a liar. Telling people what you believe on issues and reiterating what was spoken by you which anyone can hear online in videos is not lying. Paul does not want people to find out that his abortion page has been scrubbed and re-worded 3 times(or more). The same with the page on the Patriot Act, the Gitmo page and others. He changes it to get more votes and "broaden his message". If you want to hide your libertarian roots, Dr. Paul, your disdain for the 14th amendment, go ahead. You may just win the primary doing this. It worked for Obama, right? Why wouldn't it work for you? Even the Daily Kos is predicting he will lose the general election. I wholeheartedly agree. I do have proof of the mailer from yesterday, the scrubbed abortion page on rand2010 and can back up everything here. That is healthy debate, based on research and multiple sources. The lies, the smears, the cover-ups will be democratic fodder that will go on for months. Then what? <br />I'm shocked how many people are not willing to research for themselves and go on ANY endorsement as a reason to vote for someone. I have met many. Stop trusting people who are playing political chess with money and favors and look up these things for yourself. I, myself, refuse to be anyone's lemming.a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5469051312285079006.post-53102970169436861142010-05-01T18:24:00.005-05:002010-05-01T19:06:53.936-05:00Liturgical abuse and sacrilege for everyone!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp9ck68f7P8Gfzb6PkfxtNV_l4GooJF0cn5XeApkk_KlZCTIDw7Rb40jfyuWMCnyOc3t_GEnG8Qwl1OFO6piqDIPANOKPuVsl2vzD478C-YFiQ8SHWO4Qm1_lrfgIzb9JrWCNocp6uPmQb/s1600/maryeuchar.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 206px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp9ck68f7P8Gfzb6PkfxtNV_l4GooJF0cn5XeApkk_KlZCTIDw7Rb40jfyuWMCnyOc3t_GEnG8Qwl1OFO6piqDIPANOKPuVsl2vzD478C-YFiQ8SHWO4Qm1_lrfgIzb9JrWCNocp6uPmQb/s320/maryeuchar.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5466457080688614306" /></a><br />We attended a first communion today at a parish in the diocese of Covington and I have to say, I have never seen(and I have seen much) so many abuses, disrespect and offense shown to our Lord in all my life. During the homily, the priest actually had a huge cardboard heart cut out that he popped out and the packed house broke out in laughter. Multiple times people applauded for ignorant things that were meaningless. It was standing room only and we spent the Mass in the vestibule, unfortunately. There were windows so we could see the entire side show from where we stood. The Mass started with the boy first communicants lined up next to us and a little boy with down syndrome was being made fun of and eventually had enough, and a fight broke out. The boy at the end of the line was making fart armpit noises and dumping hand sanitizer all over the floor and sliding on it. Yeah, it was very reverent. I suppose it can go straight to the top as the priest had a huge performance in the sanctuary for the entire Mass. I would say 70% of the Mass was ad-libbed. My mother was inside the body of the church and I know it had to be harder for her, she could see and hear everything. She said that was by far the worse Mass ever and she has been present with dancing nuns(so that says a lot). <br />I apologize for this post. One thing to come out of this...I love my church, the gift of the traditional Mass and am so incredibly thankful to have such a reverent liturgy. No one that has this available should take it for granted, period. I am also convinced that every last parish in Covington has fallen into this muck we experienced today(to varying degrees but it has become the norm). When the new missal arrives, I hope the bishop takes this as an opportunity to whip this diocese back into shape. I was appalled. I was shocked and sad that the diocese I grew up in and that gave me my first sacraments has fallen into a malaise of disrespect and hatred toward our Lord. Did I say it was awful? <br />My kids did their best to stay quiet and solemn but it was the loudest and most raucous thing I have ever been through(okay, maybe the AC/DC concert of my youth was a bit louder). My dad, who was a strict baptist growing up said they had more reverence in his tiny baptist church than was found in that parish today. That is saying something.<br />If you have a reverent, respectful church with proper music and a sound liturgy, treasure it and thank God for such a blessing. You don't realize how awesome and blessed you are to have this available. May the day come, in our lifetime, that the Lord is revered, adored and loved with the utmost care on every altar. Until then, pray that we have the courage and fortitude to change the abuses and sacrilege that occurs against our dearest Lord everyday throughout the world. I love you dear Jesus and I am so sorry.<br /><br /><blockquote>Reverence for the Eucharist is never dispensable, even in a child, even in danger of death.<br />A sense of the sacred, a sense of reverence, is due not only to the Eucharist, but to other persons too, and to places and things. I am always struck by a renewed sense of the sacred during the rite of dedicating a new church by which it becomes sacred, a sacred place, set aside exclusively and perpetually for the worship of God. It makes me conscious again of "the reverence due to the house of God" (CCL 562) and the reverential silence we keep in church in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament.</blockquote>(From A PASTORAL LETTER ON REVERENCE FOR THE EUCHARIST <br />Bishop John R. Keating, 1988)a thorn in the pewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11975456892778482598noreply@blogger.com4