CD 41??? Serious-leelly?

Yes, you read that right. And I will probably go to CD 52+ since my peak day was on CD39. Never happened to me. I had one false alarm(or double peak) this cycle. I am hanging in there. I hope something happens with my P+7 labs that makes me look all right/human.
We started school today. I had to wait to get the curriculum and it showed up yesterday so we did a mini day today. We are using Seton this year and hope the combination of lesson plans and then grading the more intense items will help us.

Another item on the horizon is that we are going through the home study process with a local agency. We haven't filled out the paperwork yet but it is here and we are going to do it. It is involved in some aspects. I am hoping they will not make us vaccinate to get approved. Eh, I will do what I can. We are hoping to go the "foster to adopt" route. I will post more when we get over the first hurdle.

One of my pregnant friends went to the hospital yesterday and 34.5 weeks, her water broke and I haven't heard from her since. Keep her and the baby in your prayers. She lives far away and the family probably didn't think to contact me(don't know my phone number).

Politics, fertility and probate, oh my!

Odd, I am CD32 or P+17. Not normal for me. Especially since I have been on progesterone. I'm not having any PMS issues except being weepy and even that has totally subsided. I need a new chart, new stickers and I need to get on the ball and get this emailed over for a second opinion. The weird pain in the female region makes no sense, it's not cramps...I don't know what endo pain feels like. Sigh, I don't enjoy over analyzing.
On the probate/law front, things are looking better. No will was filed by the lady so my BIL is getting the original will over to the county clerks office. She will now need to contest our will. My prayer is that the truth comes out and that we won't have to stress about this every day.
Got a bit sad because the best candidate for our senate race here in Kentucky has pulled out of the race. I think it has effected my jaded view of government and that is not a good thing. His name is Bill Johnson and he had such a positive strong and consistent message. He had a two-fold problem. One, his opponents were out spending him and most of their money came from out of state(boo). The other problem was name recognition. Rand Paul is known because of his father, Greyson because he has been in politics. Until recently, I was an active participant in the Tea Party movement. Now, I have backed off and I don't plan on getting involved again any time soon. We have loose canons like Dick Armey's FreedomWorks endorsing candidates without looking at the bigger picture, Sarah Palin(same thing) and it effects state politics when big names like that get involved without "doing their homework". Tea party "anything" should not be endorsing candidates. It will be the Party's undoing. People are involved for different reasons and what unifies us is the social and political conservative standards. To what degree people want to see them in government is personal. Endorsing candidates as "the Tea Party candidate" is only going to drive people away(like me and my family). Being involved in the Tea Party doesn't mean we all want to be libertarians. I am actually a registered republican and a member of the American Independent Party. I plan on staying that way, it is what I identify with on many levels, both fiscally and socially. Okay, I had to get all that out. Bill Johnson, sir, we will miss you and in the long run, our commonwealth will miss you. I hope you will consider another run some day. We can wait.

New post, Christmas and other musings

Firstly, I have been neglectful. I need to visit and share on this blog because(for one), things are beginning to look up on the fertility front. I had a wacky last month and couldn't even take progesterone because my P day happened two days before my next cycle started. I am CD12 and so far a 10CKL...hmmm...what???? I usually have P on day 19-22 so this is looking good.

I am NOT ready for Christmas. Nothing wrapped, still need to clean, bake more, etc. Mr. Thorn is waiting for me to stop typing so we can have some time to relax. It's been hectic. Homeschool, work and life took over. I miss blogging, I miss visiting blogs...I am just trying to balance.
I am hoping to get labs on P+7 and make an appointment for the first of the year to see what the dr. thinks. I am trying to be patient. Praying that God help me to find health, I am fairly over-worked and not taking care of myself. I pray the new year will find me healthier, and if I am diligent, maybe thinner. I hope to catch up and post again over Christmas but I'm still working on sending out cards and wrapping. I was sick over a week and that didn't help matters. I still keep blog friends in my prayers.

More pregnancies and hope for whatever comes

I learned that 3 of my blog friends, all have had issues with IF and/or M/C, are now expecting. Two of my local friends have just given birth too(with some reproductive issues as well). In my weakest moments, this would make me sad and wonder why I have such extreme fear and wondering who can possibly help me(my last dr appointment went something like "this is a spiritual battle you are waging, you need spiritual help, someone who can pray for you, the evil one didn't even want you here today, trust me"...yeah....this is why I have been quiet on the posting front). So....we pray our family rosary all the time for my friends who are pregnant, experienced the loss of miscarriage or cannot conceive. I had one of those very weak moments yesterday when my young dd whispers to me at the mall that she gets sad when she sees girls with little sisters and she was sorry she felt that way. Sigh. Then as we are driving last night, Mr. Thorn and I were discussing the current state of things, fertility-wise, I started tearing up and I'm trying to keep composure in front of the kids. I told him I don't know if anyone prays for us(when it comes to children). Just then this HUGE family of deer were out in total view, very close to our van and stared right at us. There were at least 6-8 deer. So all night I wondered, we prayed, and I realized God hasn't given up on me yet. I can't give up on me.
I also was able to stop by my friends who just gave birth on Thursday(a month early) and it was just so special. He was so little, so perfectly made and her next youngest dd was so in awe of this little guy. It was so cute and so powerful to see God's work. So, I continue to thank God for the children I have, I ask that if my days are over, please take this desire away(it remains) and I am inspired by the women who surround me who have beat the odds, relied on God's grace and have amazing stories of fear, hope and loss. I hope those who are in a similar situation like I am, may realize that God's signs to us are all around. He works through others, and through nature. Be open to Him, always pray for the truth and continue to hope.

Hormonal screen and chart update

So I get a call from my doc last night and he tells me to stop charting. Sigh. I didn't have my peak day yet. Over a week of being poked and bruising and nothing. Not to mention my P being on CD28 or up is not cool. I am talking with my Creighton teacher tonight. I'm kinda a mess over it. Right now my prayer is to figure out what is going on quickly and get on the proper treatment. I'm trying to be patient(I promise I am). I think if I was in my 20's patience wouldn't be an issue. I'm on CD30 now, usually a 28 day and very regular, now, not so much. So, that's all I know. I can't make a follow-up until these tests are done and I didn't have peak-type until day 34 last month. This month, one day of 10CKL on day 17 then boom. Now I'm in a run of 10's and 8L....yish. I'm just going to have to keep my chins up.

CORRECTION********* Doctor said to stop the LABWORK. I was apparently tired and frustrated when I wrote this. It looks like, if things go as such, I will start over on Sunday with the labs.

Homeschool, labwork and other things

I'm in the middle of my hormonal screen and I'm now having to give labs through an "infant butterfly" because my veins shrunk, too deep, all that. Tonight the guy hit a nerve and my left arm is all wrecked. I suppose I don't need it as much as my right but dang, hurts. On another note, we received our book list/curriculum from the academy today. I can't buy anything until our consult but it is nice to know things are progressing. It seems classical all around which gives me comfort. I hope the kids respond well to it. They are doing well and enjoy Latin so I am taking that as a sign to continue and feel positive and as my grandma used to say "keep your chins up".
On the fertility front, I had ANOTHER 10CL today...2 x's. What the heck? Day 27?? Maybe that is the B6, I dunno. It seems odd. I will feel better progressing with the doctor and my supplements. Hope and moving on has to be good.
Please pray for a blog friend who experienced a miscarriage in the past few days. My heart goes out to her and her husband. I prayed so hard this weekend...and I prayed for my infertile friends...I always remember to pray for them. Keeping hope, that is always important to a couple that has fertility issues or miscarriage. I hope my words that I write here may comfort someone who is in pain over loss or has lost hope in holding a baby some day. It is a lonely road but faith and hope are crucial. I promise. I try not to beat myself up too much over personal weaknesses or shortcomings. I pray every day that God help me to become the person He wants me to be. I never know what that will be. All I can do at this point in my life is trust.
I will post about my labs and chart weirdness when I know something. It will be interesting to see how things unfold.

A short red stamp note

I finally arrived at my CD1 with red stamps. 40 dang days. I am still raw, doing well. I am hoping for a solid peak and good CM this cycle so I can get the hormonal screen completed. That means next month we will supplement and depending on the outcome, we can begin trying again. Long road, trying not to fear.
I am trying to read some of the critiques of the new encyclical and the NYT is reporting that we are to take away "Pope calling for New World Order and socialism". It's a good thing I am plenty busy now. I have found it easier to tweet and post on Facebook is small blips. We are trying to make sure my business stays afloat and homeschool runs smoothly. I pray for patience. There are roadblocks and red flags so I am praying more to be guided in the right direction.

Here is where I am stuck on the fertility front

I have been about 75-80% raw for 8 days now. I am on day 38 of my cycle and have no red stickers in sight(if you know what I am talking about). Took 2 tests, both negative. So I am reading about raw foodists and what happens to the cycles and had to call both my practitioner and doctor and say "what now?" I was supposed to have a hormonal screen done on P+3-12, every other day. Didn't happen this month. I have no idea where I am. I had 10DL's on day 34-35....so there ya have it.
Here are some links I found on raw foods and cycles:

Link 1
Link 2
I am trying to balance out what I believe to be healthy foods that need to be cooked for their nutritional value. I am not sure how it will go. I can't have a cessation of menses make sense and be "healthy" in my mind. Nor do I think after a bit more than a week, I have freaked my system that badly. I think it is a delay and hope to pray and research some more. I couldn't find valid info on where I am at with the diet and "life" to make sense of it for me, personally.

Update from the doc

I went to dr. I thought I was worse off than he did(I don't know if that is a good sign). He wants to focus on the hormone issue that is causing me to miscarry. I feel I have underlying adrenal and thyroid issues, as did my last doc, but we are only dealing with one thing at a time. So I need a hormone screen starting on P+3 and going every other day to P+12. Mind you, this is with my three kids in tow. Hmm. I got to do it. He doesn't want me losing a lot of weight. Weh. I was hoping that I would be able to get back on my food plan and shed some of my "I've had it with catholic schools, miscarriage and the government, gimme something salty-sweet-then salty then sweet" thing I got caught in. So I will come up with a plan to take better care of myself without shocking my body.
After this screen, we will come up with a plan that I need to stay on for one cycle before we try to achieve again. He also said I have endo until proven otherwise. My OB/GYN never looked into that so that could have caused my M/C this whole time. But I have a plan, a direction and I will follow along whilst praying if this is what God wants for me. In the end, I just want to go where He leads.

On another note, I received the assessment package and enrollment info for homeschool today. We are going to try and tackle these this weekend. Pant pant pant. What have I got myself into?

Temp readings (girl stuff warning)

For my "fertility friends"(for lack of a better term), my temp spiked AGAIN this morning. It's day 24 and it spiked once on day 21 so I will have to hunt down what it all means. I am fairly sure I have what is called a late thermal surge so my temps have some delay when ovulation occurs. I am on month 3 of Clomid and may call my ob/gyn today to better handle next month. If this double temp rise is just a fluke, I need to supplement or get some other support for the next cycle. I continue to pray, we are open to adoption and I am blessed with 3 children. I have to remember that always.
As I hear from other NFP families, you always desire more children. We have been trying 2 years since the miscarriage without a positive. It is hard not to get frustrated. Most doctors don't want to deal with us because we have no interest in invitro. Whatever. My insurance won't cover anything related to fertility either. They will cover BC and Viagra but not fertility. Poops. Our country is wonky. I knew the insurance was wonky but it is a greater problem of American wonkiness. Wonkiness. That will be the word of the day. Be sure and use it in a sentence.

NFP and "Da Rules"

A visitor asked the question below and what follows is my response. Chime in if you have anything to add.

I've always been confused about NFP in the sense that - well, those who are not catholic point out that it doesn't really work. And I always thought, well, therein lies the morality! You remain *open* to children, but you avoid conception as best you can through an ineffectual method. So I thought that it was interesting when a commenter said that NFP was only permissible under extraordinary circumstances, and that *short* of extraordinary circumstances, one should not resort to NFP but should abstain entirely. And this is sort of baffling, no? Given that Catholics are, as a rule, required to be open to children, it seems strange (to me) that the hierarchy would be:
1. you have no problems? then ordinary marital relations, children as they come...
2. minor problems? NO marital relations, NO children.
3. grave problems? (i.e. life of mother) - then, NFP - *possibly* no children, quite possibly yes.

Is this accurate?
thanks so much,
Maura

a thorn in the pew's response:

NFP, as we have used it for 11 years is highly effective. One big difference between NFP and illicit forms of birth control is we used it quite often to achieve pregnancy. You cannot do that with condoms, pill, others. The other difference is that NFP is not an abortifacient(the pill will allow egg to be fertilized and "abort" that newly conceived baby by not allowing it to implant). I have not met a couple who claim that NFP does not work. Using NFP prohibits the use of abortifacients and barrier methods and encourages the education of a woman's cycle and natural fertility signs. If we are avoiding pregnancy(notice I say we, not I) we simply choose not to use fertile days. In a marriage, there are valid reasons to abstain and the church recognizes this. We have been, throughout our marriage not just open to children, but also have a strong desire to add more children when most of the world has told us "you have two special needs kids, why could you possibly want any more?" So to say that because there is a problem, a couple wouldn't want more is untrue. The complexity lies when you have marginal Catholics using NFP other than the way it was intended. That was the question raised in the post I had on NFP. NFP is not birth control. It is a communication tool that can be used throughout a marriage and helps a couple focus on where they would like the family to grow. Woman who don't use NFP bear the burden of when it doesn't work, it is all their fault. As far as a couple who has grave reasons never to have children? I can't imagine a reason so grave that would keep them from ever conceiving a child. The only point I see that is totally true would be #1, no problems, NFP used to have children every month.(There is the subject of breastfeeding to space children naturally that comes into play under these circumstances as well.) I hope this helps, I will publish this as a post if there are other NFP couples that would like to add to this.

NFP and its use in Catholic family

IS NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING A 'HERESY'?I have become somewhat awakened to the down side of NFP in the last year. We have used it our entire married life but I agree with some of the criticism of this practise recently. We have used NaProTeachnology and not the method taught by CCL. When we were taught, many many years ago, emphasis was not put on the term "serious reason". From a Catholic perspective, this is a very important part of NFP. I saw CCL on EWTN Live last year and afterwards, felt odd about how they handled some of the questions. While I agree that if you are truly practising NFP the way it was intended, you always desire more children. Even my children desire more children. Abstinence(or avoiding pregnancy) should only occur for "serious reason". This is too vague and needs to be clarified by Rome for NFP not to be abused. "Serious reason" should not be "we don't have a savings account yet", "need to take a family vacation first", etc.
So while I am a big advocate of NFP, I have seen its abuse and wonder if part of the incomplete teaching is because it is sought out by denominationals and LDS now, not just Catholics. The article linked above touches on some of these issues but it truly is an odd aspect of what should be a wonderful tool for married life in the faith.