Starting HCG this cycle(yeah)

So I am on the HCG diet. Losing weight nicely. Dr. is having me start HCG injection this cycle on P+3. I will keep you posted. For the record I am on Femara, progesterone and estrodiol on P+3-12 and now 10,000iu HCG on P+3.

I'm having funky side pain from the Femara today so I will cut this post short.

10 Surprising Things

Ok, here it goes. I am sure this will be all over the place so I suppose you can make fun. I had fun reading everyone's lists.


1. I am an architecture/history buff. I love thinking of buildings in their heyday and pouring over historical event sites. I wanted to be an architect like my grandfather when I was young.

2. I studied directing, acting and eventually costume design in school. I sometimes miss the family spirit of the theater but realize my conservative leanings would have never blossomed in that environment.

3. I obsessed with etiquette and manners. I stopped dating boys after the first date if they had horrid manners(or grooming). Now I just drive my family nuts.

4. I hate northern climates. I mean really hate. Naked trees and grey slushy crap upsets me.

5. I used to break dance and was in a group in high school. I also won a Madonna look-a-like contest during this same time period(dated myself there, huh?) I even had the slight gap in my teeth.

6. I will talk to someone and leave out details that are important because I assume they know(when they have no clue). Hey, I know what I am talking about! Do they really need to know? Haha.

7. I love old school country music. I love artists that invoke the original charm of country music without getting into the pop/rock realm.

8. I live with post it notes, to-do lists, white board charts and forced organizational aids. I have to know what is on the horizon always.

9. I love scotch.

10. I was almost cast in the movies "A League of Their Own" and "Dogfight". I was called back but would have had to take a semester off school. The other movie they called me for final casting while I was away for Thanksgiving break.

Plans and side effects. Yeah, like that.

I am CD7 and my weight is bouncing around quite a bit, wondering if it is stress, the femara or salt/water whatever. I don't know. We planned our vacation and we are staying in the Gulf, not the messy part and honestly, I was not apposed to that, the people there just didn't return my phone call(Gulf Shores). We need to get away and we are being budget-friendly doing so. It will be hot, I'm sure so we will be in the pool a lot.
The phase of my diet is going okay, could be better. I read some people gain on femara but I did a one day dose thing so I can't see that is affecting my weight. I don't think I am drinking enough water, honestly. Today I hope to do that a load up on protein to see what happens. I want to be stable before our trip. I don't want the whole trip to be about what I am eating or not. My appetite has changed and that is a beautiful thing.
I am in a mess over homeschool. I was really disappointed with the curriculum we used this year. I loved the classical aspect of the books and lessons but their customer support is a hot mess. A waste of money, in my opinion. They rarely answered the phone, took a week or more answering emails...not what I paid for. We really had problems tackling the creative writing this year and instead of helping us, the advisor got all vague and moved on. So we need a new plan. I need to settle this and work on it before we leave. I am planning on doing the kids standardized tests next week. We are looking at Seton but I will miss teaching the classical elements that the kids loved like mythology, Latin and (we were preparing for) Roman history. The grammar and math programs were good too. The lesson plans and organization aspect got the best of me this year. I know the kids are much stronger in language, math, history....it's writing they all struggled in trying to find a solid understanding. The schools they attended prior to homeschool just ignored creative writing. Period. That left it all on me.
So I will get through. In the meantime, we hope the new plan for achieving pregnancy(and staying pregnant) will work. I have another friend who is pregnant and it gives me hope that God will hear our prayer. I don't feel old. I feel younger than I have in years after losing weight and getting my blood pressure to 120/80(last week). I have lost much more than 10% of my body weight, all good. So I ready to go where God leads me. I just have no idea where that will be.

If you are catholic in name only...

Great article and quotes here.

Guest Opinion: Are You Really Catholic?

“In a culture which embraces an agenda of death, Catholics and Catholic institutions are necessarily counter-cultural. If we as individuals or our Catholic institutions are not willing to accept the burdens and the suffering necessarily involved in calling our culture to reform, then we are not worthy of the name Catholic.”

Divide and conquer

Exactly what the socialist wants. I worked cafeteria today but didn't pay much attention to the news. I have decided that liberal catholics are feeling marginalized and are choking on their peace, love and justice as they melt. If those catholics that voted(knowing and deliberately) for the king, accepting he is pro-death, committed mortal sin(as Archbp. Burke has commented on) what do we have left? Oh wait, sin doesn't exist.
I do believe God is allowing this to happen because in the end, you are either for God or against Him. You are either for the truth or get sucked into the pool of "compassion" and lies. This may be the turning point in the life of the American Roman Catholic. Perhaps a pruning of dead shoots. Anyway, I need to sew a ton of orders and had to type out loud. One of those days.

First Communion for children(apparel)

Anyone need a first communion gown, suit or apparel for a wedding? This company is going out of business and all items are 75% off.
Dress Kids
We just need some accessories for the dress since we bought her dress at another company earlier last year. These are all new and off the rack items. They have quite a few flower girl, baptism etc. still available. I'm just posting in case anyone needs something reasonable.

It's blog give-away time!

To celebrate my 1000 blog posts, I am having a fun give away. Here's the rules. They are easy. I have so many blog friends who struggle with miscarriage, infertility and pregnancy frustrations(or crosses, depending on how much of a burden they become.) Tomorrow(or tonight), if you would, please pray and ask St. Therese to intercede for those ladies who carry this cross. Just one sincere, honest prayer. You can also offer up a suffering instead. Then report back and leave a comment here. My youngest will chose one comment(I will put them in a hat for her) and the winner will get to choose from the following items. You can choose either a fabric rosary case or chapel veil case(pick one). Then you can also choose one yard of the fabrics I have pictured(I will keep they winners personal info private). Why am I doing this? Well, because I can and also because the people who read this blog prayed for me during the lowest points of my life. I'm am rather fond of you people ;) Thank you for your prayers, your example, your wisdom and your strength. Now, go pray and hopefully get some cool things. That is the least I can do. God bless.

PICK ONE OF THESE:
Chapel Veil Case(chapel veil not included)

Rosary Case(rosary not included)


THEN ONE OF THESE:
Each of these prints is cotton, quilt quality fabric and you will get one yard of the one you pick.

Fertility and miscarriage update

I haven't been in the mood to discuss where things have progressed. First, I received the results from the chromosomal test and I still don't know how I feel. The chromosomes were absolutely normal and female. I cried and got angry. I'm still angry. The chromosomes were perfect. It was me and I feel it could have been prevented. Hormones, extremely low progesterone. I don't want to be told it happened for a reason. That only makes me feel it was my fault. My sin, my lack of perfection, finance, etc(it's all too Calvinistic). I didn't will or cause it. I would have done anything to have met those babies(within the bounds of my faith). I have regret. I didn't do enough, I trusted God so very much and now I'm just angry that I trusted without putting any real medical "reasoning" into the picture. I don't want my journey as a mother to end like this. The pain of loss and blame is tremendous. I want another chance. I want hope. I want to be able to have God lead me again. I don't want to be selfish either. I have prayed so much and so often for God to take away the desire for more children if it will never be. Four babies are gone and it haunts me every day.

I haven't dealt with the loss for awhile, just haven't been in the mood. The spotting has continued, the cramping hasn't fully stopped. I'm reading up tonight on what has happened. I believe that more tissue passed a few weeks ago(around the 4.5 week mark from the D&C). Here is what was on the site I read:

Some tissue was missed during your D&C or natural miscarriage. A bit of placenta clung to the wall of the uterus. It continued to draw a little blood, and the body continued to create very small amounts of pregnancy hormone. Eventually the body realized no baby was there and turned loose of this last bit of tissue. The miscarriage process begins again. Only now will your levels drop to zero and a new cycle begin. You cannot expect a normal period any sooner than four weeks from this, and up to seven weeks could still be normal. Your total wait time from original miscarriage to first period can creep up to nine or ten weeks and still be normal.

So things aren't normal(well according to the above it is). I want to get to a doctor who can help me. I want to get healthy and be able to move on. I still feel pregnant sometimes, have cravings, get dizzy, feel nauseous. Last week I called my OB, he gave me the option(again) of being on the pill. At my age, I don't want to mess with the fertility period I have left in my life. I want to start charting the Creighton method again but nothing is normal and I can't see a sign of a cycle.
So that's where things are hovering.
I'm open to adoption. I'm open to whatever God wants me to do. I don't know what that thing is. I pray that I will know(so I don't miss it). I write what I am going through on this blog to help others. I have gleaned so much from other women online. It is a lonely place. Catholic women share a membership to a private club. Fertility and miscarriage is a different place when you are a Catholic woman. Sometimes the only way to live and be productive is to pretend it doesn't exist. I'm just being honest. Maybe it's denial, I look at it as survival. I need to focus on my family and my business and pray that God helps me to do that. If I need to avoid my pain and this cross, sometimes it is my only weapon. Even if it is only temporary.

You, my dear lady, are no Catholic

NANCY'S GUN SHOW

PELOSI SAYS BIRTH CONTROL WILL HELP ECONOMY

Congressional Democrats' "Stimulus" Bill Includes Taxpayer Funding for Contraceptives, Abortion Industry

Next to the pope, Boehner is my hero. Excellent Catholic example. He is the anti-Pelosi. As my son would say, he is an arch enemy!(of Pelosi, etc).

Can we funnel this info to the Vatican? Pelosi apparently can't be rehabilitated so can't we start a petition to get her butt excommunicated? She is an embarrassment to Catholics everywhere. I have prayed for her, many have. It does no good.

NANCY'S JAZZ HANDS.(I know, perfect for liturgical dancing. We will have to find others.)

Gitmo. I got an idea.

Let's put them in the blue states. I heard Murtha wants them. This is a great idea. I doubt any red state will take them. Actually, let's have the Catholics that voted for Obama put them up at their house. This could work out to be a good thing for everyone...
(Update: Brownback just said he doesn't want them at Leavenworth. Ha, it's going to be interesting.)

Anger doesn't begin to describe...

My oldest has been really ill lately(we have had labs, tests, screens, etc. and don't know if it is med or health related) and I DIDN'T need this on top of what I have on my plate. I picked the kids up from school and found out they had been forced to go to the SAFE TOUCH program without my knowledge or permission(the group that does this is a secular place associated with United Way and receive government funding, nuff said). We have always been given the papers to opt out and I am still in shock. You want to know why parents homeschool....ummm...hmm. I don't want to go into much more about this. I'm too upset. The bishop is wrong, the diocese is wrong, the schools are wrong. Quit selling out our kids over gay pedophile priests. Period. I didn't start or contribute to the abuse and yet, I am bearing the brunt of the crap as a result(and my innocent kids). Oh, and it's my anniversary today. This is kind of overshadowing that whole event.
For the record, I have talked to my kids about abuse and perpetrators and what's okay ON MY TERMS. It's my job. That was taken away from me. I'm so done with this diocese. I'm just a parent trying to raise my children to love, know and serve God. That is an impossible task in the Covington Diocese. I have tried, relentlessly. I need to log off before my anger consumes me. I am going to pray about where to go and what to do next.

Our prayers! Lookie!

McCain now has a 9 point lead among Catholics! He had an 11 pt deficit. Cool no? I know....keep praying and in God's hands. I'm not the only one tracking this stuff....


Here is the other days from this pollster(which was the most accurate in 2004 election.)

Tipp Election Watch 2008

Hack,cough,catholicinnameonly,cough. cough.

Catholics for Obama: No qualms about abortion issue

"I feel that every Catholic can vote for Obama in good conscience," said Patrick Whelan, president of Catholic Democrats. "I think Barack Obama is the first Democratic presidential candidate who has come out and said he plans constructive measures to reduce the number of abortions in the United States."

Wow. Okay. You go then.

Here's some other proud Catholics. Hack. Cough.
Knights for Obama!(quoting Commonweal is enough for my blood.)

CATHOLICS FOR OBAMA - BIDEN

Wow. Is it really like that?

I suppose we don't need a savior like Christ anymore.
Blasphemous.

Paging, bishops with a backbone...

This article from Time is insightful and describes why "some" of our bishops are making our beliefs a crap shoot this year. If all life issues are equally important(immigration,abortion,euthanasia, etc.) then why bother voting, right? The church, I'm sorry, the U.S. church, needs to stop playing the game of vagueness. Sorry for my tongue but seeing a "Catholics for Obama" button on a lapel at the funeral yesterday was just thing I needed to make me come unglued. I also heard 4 other funeral attendees make snide McCain comments to which I responded in silence. Why? Because it speaks volumes about liberals if they think it is appropriate to use a funeral as a platform to spew their garbage. I may have one more day of being around them, briefly, and then if I catch them away from the funeral, they are fair game. Anyway, here is the link to the Time article.

How Catholics Are Judging Obama and the Democrats

Our church in the U.S. is in serious trouble if we think inviting Obama, the biggest baby-killer in recent times, to the Al Smith Dinner. It is a slap in the face to true Catholics who take their faith seriously. If he wins this election, it will be because some of our leaders have left the building. Pray for them. They led the sheep astray. The so-called "Freedom of Choice Act" is months away. With Obama and two Democratic weighted houses, there will be nothing we can do at that point.

Yeah, well, not here.

No Compromises: Kansas State Bishops Declare Voting for Abortion Candidate is "Evil"

"Such acts are judged to be intrinsically evil, that is, evil in and of themselves regardless of our motives or the circumstances. They constitute an attack against innocent human life, as well as marriage and family," state the bishops.

"In light of the above we would commit moral evil if we were to vote for a candidate who takes a permissive stand on those actions that are intrinsically evil when there is a morally-acceptable alternative."

Amen!

Would that such truthful and hard-hitting statements be spoken from our turf in Kentucky...

In other news...
Obama Caught Red-Handed in Abortion Lie

Horrible. God help us...

Eh, it had to happen

Who is the true Vicar of Christ?
The Roman Catholic Pope or the Holy Spirit?

You may want to pop open a beer before reading this. I'm just sayin'...

So intimate and worshipful is this, that in a spiritual sense a true believer will only use the words “The Holy Father” of God alone! The Roman Pontiff not only takes to himself the office of “Vicar of Christ” but also the very title of the Godhead, “The Holy Father.” We must therefore ask the question that Apostle John asks, “Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son” (I John 2:22). In assuming these titles to himself, the Pope shows that he truly is “a vicar of Christ” in the biblical sense of the Antichrist!

I *think* they believe we worship the Pope. I *think* they are saying Catholics believe that his person has been infused with God the Father. I may be wrong, but that is the conclusion I have drawn from the writings. Why is it always ex-priests that are so bitter and full of odd stories and conclusions? Did he worship the Pope as a priest? Eh, Calvinist now, Jesuit schooled. Back to work. My brain hurts a little.(Is worshipful a word?)

Ouch...getting heated.

I had to comment over at Amy's the following:

“There are not a hundred people in America who hate the Catholic Church. There are millions of people who hate what they wrongly believe to be the Catholic Church— which is, of course, quite a different thing.” Archbishop Fulton Sheen

She is calling it like it is on the Michelle Malkin diatribe regarding the "Catholic elite" and the Holy Father/Vatican stance on immigration. The Holy Father is not a political leader. He is in the business of saving souls and helping the poor. Period. Just got my bowels in an uproar that someone is taking what should be a wonderful visit from the Holy father and politicizing it. Move on people.

Catholic Super Heroes

The Religious Affiliation of Comic Book Characters

How interesting is this? Who knew Catwoman was Catholic? The stuff you learn surfing the web(instead of finishing taxes) is amazing.

H/T to M. Swaim for this info.

On that note, you can make your own super hero here. The possibilities are endless. I've created mine above. With equipment like that, I can save the world.

I was like a daisy among weeds(with no make-up)

I am here in balmy Akron, OH and figured I would blog before Mass. We are staying at a nice hotel here that has a breakfast buffet and today was just too eventful not to mention. Last night, as we came home from dinner, 2 huge buses pulled up and unloaded members of the AFSCME that were here for Hillary. We got word they were heading to the pool so we got the kids down there so we could get out before they took over the pool. It was close to the pool closing time so we made it. A friend of Mr. Thorn's came over and chatted most of the night so there was no conflict until this morning. They took over the breakfast buffet, cheering at every mention of Hillary on television and making lots of snide comments about McCain and Republicans. Uncomfortable does not describe our breakfast adventure. I was only one of about three women with make-up out of almost forty or so women that I saw milling about(there was a definite lack of femininity in the room). Then we had the kids asking why they are all wearing the same shirts, why they are cheering at the television and other embarrassing questions. Here we are, conservative, traditional Catholics having a bite before check-out and Mass and they were preparing for a campaign stop later in the morning. Mr. Thorn tried to behave, it was difficult for him(the poor dear). What did I learn from the whole experience? Even when you feel like you are the majority, don't assume everyone shares your views and that you won't offend someone by your words. While I don't share many of the views of McCain, I still consider myself a Republican(I am registered) and the example you set, goes a long way. I bit my tongue, said nothing, although many around me were making Republican/conservative cracks galore. If you want others to understand or support your cause, be aware that you are setting an example. Did we behave because we were out-numbered or because that is what we were taught? I don't know, because I really didn't want to behave. I am very opinionated and uncompromising in my beliefs. I think I went by the rule of just "not arguing with a Democrat". The odd thing was I looked at them as abortion supporters. It was haunting and creepy to be in a room with people who have no problem supporting the killing of innocent babies. That was the ugly part of my day and I can do nothing but pray for them at Mass today. Well, that and not vote for Hillary. Prayer is more effective than any arguement. Especially when any arguement would have fallen on deaf ears. God save our country. The next 4+ years are going to be rough.