Sunday, September 20, 2009

More pregnancies and hope for whatever comes

I learned that 3 of my blog friends, all have had issues with IF and/or M/C, are now expecting. Two of my local friends have just given birth too(with some reproductive issues as well). In my weakest moments, this would make me sad and wonder why I have such extreme fear and wondering who can possibly help me(my last dr appointment went something like "this is a spiritual battle you are waging, you need spiritual help, someone who can pray for you, the evil one didn't even want you here today, trust me"...yeah....this is why I have been quiet on the posting front). So....we pray our family rosary all the time for my friends who are pregnant, experienced the loss of miscarriage or cannot conceive. I had one of those very weak moments yesterday when my young dd whispers to me at the mall that she gets sad when she sees girls with little sisters and she was sorry she felt that way. Sigh. Then as we are driving last night, Mr. Thorn and I were discussing the current state of things, fertility-wise, I started tearing up and I'm trying to keep composure in front of the kids. I told him I don't know if anyone prays for us(when it comes to children). Just then this HUGE family of deer were out in total view, very close to our van and stared right at us. There were at least 6-8 deer. So all night I wondered, we prayed, and I realized God hasn't given up on me yet. I can't give up on me.
I also was able to stop by my friends who just gave birth on Thursday(a month early) and it was just so special. He was so little, so perfectly made and her next youngest dd was so in awe of this little guy. It was so cute and so powerful to see God's work. So, I continue to thank God for the children I have, I ask that if my days are over, please take this desire away(it remains) and I am inspired by the women who surround me who have beat the odds, relied on God's grace and have amazing stories of fear, hope and loss. I hope those who are in a similar situation like I am, may realize that God's signs to us are all around. He works through others, and through nature. Be open to Him, always pray for the truth and continue to hope.

8 comments:

Angela M. said...

Infant of Prague Novena.

Sew said...

I can't imagine what it is like to see your children also have desires for more brothers & sisters.

I think it was a great sign, the deers! Beautiful grace!

Missed you!

That gyn experience was rather rigid. Of course this is a spiritual battle, but more so it's a medical battle as well. Infertility=disease, HELLO!

Catholic Chicks said...

What a powerful post. My husband and I are beginning our journey of trying to conceive and its an uphill battle. But, I have faith knowing that God has His plan for us. And we will continue to pray and have faith. God Bless you and your family.

Cathy said...

*I* pray for you, Thornie.
And for all the others, too.
:(

I agree with Sew - the deer thing was cool...

cordelia said...

thank you for sharing. this is so hard.

Niki Ary said...

Your post has broken my heart. I have said a prayer for you and your family today. I have lost two precious children and am currently 13 weeks pregnant and am still scared that I could lose this baby. But we must continually turn to Jesus and know that He is able to do more abundantly than anything we think or ask. I am praying for you and for your family and asking and trusting that in God's time you will have another precious blessing.

Niki

FloridaWife said...

I pray for you! I pray for you! I'll pray again right now!

Catholic Mom of 10 said...

Do you mind updating to my new blog?

I will pray for you..even after 10 children plus 2 miscarriages the desire for more children never goes away..perhaps some women are just made that way! God bless you..