Politics, fertility and probate, oh my!

Odd, I am CD32 or P+17. Not normal for me. Especially since I have been on progesterone. I'm not having any PMS issues except being weepy and even that has totally subsided. I need a new chart, new stickers and I need to get on the ball and get this emailed over for a second opinion. The weird pain in the female region makes no sense, it's not cramps...I don't know what endo pain feels like. Sigh, I don't enjoy over analyzing.
On the probate/law front, things are looking better. No will was filed by the lady so my BIL is getting the original will over to the county clerks office. She will now need to contest our will. My prayer is that the truth comes out and that we won't have to stress about this every day.
Got a bit sad because the best candidate for our senate race here in Kentucky has pulled out of the race. I think it has effected my jaded view of government and that is not a good thing. His name is Bill Johnson and he had such a positive strong and consistent message. He had a two-fold problem. One, his opponents were out spending him and most of their money came from out of state(boo). The other problem was name recognition. Rand Paul is known because of his father, Greyson because he has been in politics. Until recently, I was an active participant in the Tea Party movement. Now, I have backed off and I don't plan on getting involved again any time soon. We have loose canons like Dick Armey's FreedomWorks endorsing candidates without looking at the bigger picture, Sarah Palin(same thing) and it effects state politics when big names like that get involved without "doing their homework". Tea party "anything" should not be endorsing candidates. It will be the Party's undoing. People are involved for different reasons and what unifies us is the social and political conservative standards. To what degree people want to see them in government is personal. Endorsing candidates as "the Tea Party candidate" is only going to drive people away(like me and my family). Being involved in the Tea Party doesn't mean we all want to be libertarians. I am actually a registered republican and a member of the American Independent Party. I plan on staying that way, it is what I identify with on many levels, both fiscally and socially. Okay, I had to get all that out. Bill Johnson, sir, we will miss you and in the long run, our commonwealth will miss you. I hope you will consider another run some day. We can wait.

Finding hope during Lent

My last post was all technical and depressing. I know that(I didn't say it was hopeful or happy). I need to keep up with this blog for my sanity now. I didn't realize how fragile that is when you have to hunt to find hope in a hopeless environment. I was crying last night to Mr. Thorn that I feel like I have failed at being a wife, a mother, a teacher and a business owner. I can't be spread this thin for this many years. I feel very solitary when I feel everyone has a new baby or is pregnant. I want to be happy for everyone, I want to feel nothing but what a supportive friend would feel.
My kids had to live through this whole death/expensive funeral/disinheritance thing with Mr. Thorn and I and it is showing in their behavior. Acting out, not motivated to do school work, etc. They were even being disrespectful at my mom's yesterday(it was awful). So last night I told Mr. Thorn that we need to find a way to build our family back up, find some peace in our home and pray that God helps us recover financially from the blow we have been dealt. I am finding so much comfort reading IF/MC blogs and offering up my suffering for them. Otherwise, I feel my pain is in vain. I always pray for my family who have not yet accepted Christ and those away from the church but I never see any change there, so I keep praying and try not to let discouragement overwhelm me.
One prayer was answered, sort of. I asked God to allow the truth to come out about this whole inheritance thing and it is almost there. There are still many unanswered questions but most of he family knows this old lady took us all to the cleaners. For whatever that is worth.
I have to muster the strength to carry on and teach and get on the ball with my business and hope God will carry me because I am totally incapable of doing anything with conviction or purpose right now.

Hell hath no fury...

We just got back in town from a long week at Mr. Thorn's grandfather's funeral. It didn't go well(if you couldn't tell by the title). He was 96, his wife died the year we were married. He moved back down to Florida after that, met a woman close to his age and they lived in his condo as "companions", or so we thought. Turns out, they got married in 2007, and she never bothered to come to the funeral. Hmm. Odd. Her daughter, however shows up. The whole thing was uncomfortable. After most of the visitors leave, the remaining siblings gathered and we were told by Mr. Thorn's oldest brother that he "thinks" there may be another will and don't count on getting anything from grandpa's estate. So Mr. Thorn and I are shocked, no one else really let it phase them.
Now mind you, we are not materialistic money-grubbers. This meant "relief" for us from constantly being under. My husband was very close to his grandfather and we were always told the money would be there when grandpa died. He came from humble beginnings and was a self-made millionaire. I think what is so hard about all this is that was one of the only "keep going thoughts" that I had for years. I'm not going to lie, we have a difficult life. I run my own businesses(to be specific, about 5 businesses - a website, 2 other internet venues, a barter business, wholesale and a fabric business, I homeschool full time and I have two special needs sons and one daughter. My husband is in sales, too, so there are months we have very little income(due to economy, etc) I always thought I could keep this train wreck going until we had the inheritance money so I kept up this crazy life. We don't get "days or nights off". I'm just worn out.
So, back to the story. Fast forward to today. We now get conflicting stories that now there is no will(at all) and we should just forget about it.
So what do we do? A long time back a good priest friend of ours told me(regarding my in laws) "you are a christian, not a door mat". Those words haunted me this week. How is it a man who spent his whole life helping family and building this nest egg to pass on can get taken by a woman like this and my brother in law, the executor of the estate, does nothing and feels family is no longer entitled to this money? Sorry for this rant but we have been devastated and I can't wrap my head around it.
The woman he "married" is 92. Her family is the ones set to really gain from this arrangement. We were never informed we had been cut out of the will and we did nothing to deserve being cut out. (Mind you, she married him, whatever, at 92 I don't think they got married to have kids. She gets 30% off the top, I get that and can't dispute it) So now we need to decide if we want to go rogue, get a probate lawyer, request to see if there is a will and proceed, with or without the other siblings. I have had to read more about Florida law, trusts, wills, etc, than I care to. I wish it didn't have to come to this. The "executor" brother(who is a lawyer" is going down to Florida this week and has no intentions of doing anything other than recouping the expense of the burial. Unreal. Well, this is a slice of my life. Normally I don't blog about things of such a secular nature. This is just eating me up inside. I had hoped to use this money to pay off our debts(hospital bills, etc) and focus on homeschool and actually being a wife and mother for the first time in my married life. Unless I fight for this, it won't happen. I just don't know if I have it in me. I'm exhausted already.
And, yes, we have been offering our rosaries for his grandfather, praying about all this and hoping we find peace.