Nerves and moving on

Today is better, symptoms gone, I think it was a fluke thing. I'm feeling better about that. On the downside, my oldest is home again(on my birthday, nonetheless) and I'm trying to convince him that he cannot keep missing school. I'm worried about him falling behind. The dr. called and his labs showed elevated white blood cell count and some other probs so we need to repeat later today. I know one thing, I'm not getting anything accomplished with my business. Between my health, now my son's, it's a mess. I'm worried that between the idiotic government law for my industry and economy, I will need to return to the workforce if some miracle does not occur.

I have the added bonus of the school here punishing my kids and I over some gay pedophile priests(between Virtus and the school programs, this issue is not going away). Do I have a choice other than home school? Is all this going to get worse with the incoming dictator? Maybe we will all have to go into hiding. Catholic churches aren't catholic anymore, neither are the schools. Bishops(majority of them) don't care about anything but finances and those of us concerned with our souls and faith are left to scrounge around for whatever crumb of true Catholicism we can find. In otherwords, Rome is burning and our leaders are busy with bingos, DPAA, fiscal viability and photo-ops for the sake of appearances. I will get over this eventually. I look for hope and goodness and get frustrated when I turn up with nada. My family has had no spiritual leader or parish for months now. Through the death of my husband's mother, the loss of our twins and the stress of financial issues, we have been on our own. This was not by choice but force and we will make it. We always do. I'm fighting being bitter.
I talked to a friend in Chicago and she was stunned by what took place in our school. She said it would never happen there. The same with the liturgy...it's become a farce, a circus. My children have been forced to clap and ring bells during Mass. It's really getting to be too much. I'm not a trouble-maker. If it was no big deal, there would be no issue. Liberals are forcing our children into tiny protestant hippie drones by their example. I can no longer stand by and watch and think it won't have an effect on them(it had a huge effect on me, I went feminazi in college). I'm just weary. I worry that to home school two boys with asperger's will be the death of me. I am praying for guidance. I pray always for God to lead me, to lead us. I just need a reprieve, even if it's just for a few months. Enough that my family can find a home(parish), my youngest be able to make her first communion(in peace, with no hand bells, clapping or finger plays) and we feel Christ's presence so we can escape to a church where we don't have worldliness rule in a place that should be free from that. Yes, a tall order. Sorry for my run-on sentences and brain-speak. I'm usually a happy person and content with life as it is. I'm just a woman on overload.
As a side note, I am having my first ever blog give-away in the coming week. That's a good, happy thing! Stay tuned...

Feast day, St. Bernard(and more)

Saint Bernard and the Prayer to the Holy Wound

O most loving Jesus, meek lamb of God, I, a miserable sinner,
salute and worship the most sacred Wound of Thy Shoulder
on which Thou didst bear Thy heavy Cross, which so
tore Thy flesh and laid bare Thy bones as to inflict on Thee
an anguish greater than any other wound of Thy most blessed body.
I adore Thee, O Jesus most sorrowful; I praise and glorify Thee,
and give Thee thanks for this most sacred and painful
Wound, beseeching Thee by that exceeding pain, and by
the crushing burden of Thy heavy Cross, to be merciful to me,
a sinner, and to forgive me all my mortal and venial sins, and
to lead me on toward Heaven along the Way of the Cross. Amen.

IMPRIMATUR: Thomas D. Beaven, Bishop of Springfield
(Read about the meaning of this prayer here: Saint Bernard and the Prayer to the Holy Wound)

The kids had Mass at St. Bernard's today on the saints feast day. It is odd to see my kids happy and fitting in nicely(we aren't used to that). They had donuts after Mass and I got to chat with some of the teachers and the kids friends. Day three of new school, so far, so good. The drive will take some getting used to but picking up the kids happy and chatty and feeling like they are progressing is worth it(yeah, wait til the snow and ice come, then we will see how I feel.)

On another happy note, McCain is ahead in the polls. On a sad note, the saxophonist for the Dave Matthews Band died from injuries sustained in an ATV accident. He was absolutely one of the best sax players out there(maybe even best that was living). Read here:
DMB sax player dies at 46 from ATV wreck injuries (AP)

So much news

I haven't had time to post much in the last few days. So much goings on and I didn't have time to post. This huge wholesale order is taking over our lives and I should be done soon(I have to be). I was able to tour "the school" on Friday and it was a day full of signs and comfort. The school is small and definately a secret. If people knew how kind the teachers are, how many perks there were to being in this small school, it wouldn't be so small anymore. I was able to meet many of the teachers and the principal took me throughout all the rooms and places my kids would be during the day. I was able to get in a bit of work in the afternoon before we zoomed back over to St. Bernard's for the fish fry. I was able to meet Mr. Thorn there after work and theat way we had time to eat before stations at 7pm.
A boy came to the table and asked if I had been in his school that day and asked which of the children would be in his class. My oldest son answered and the two of them really hit it off. They played cards together after dinner and served for Father at stations that night. The boy was so polite and nice and if I had any doubts about where my kids should go to school, they were dispelled Friday evening. I am sad about leaving where they are now, I know they will be too. The benefits far outweigh any negatives(like distance). The principal where they are now has been amazing. The teachers there were always so kind and patient with my boys(even on bad days). But due to changes in class sizes and finances, we have been forced into finding another home for them. I pray that God continues to guide us.
I have been so "not stressed" since being at St. Bernards. The people have been very friendly and kind and I don't feel like a fish out of water anymore. The way things are are fine by me and a welcome change from what we went through in the past year and a half.
Today we go to the birthday party and I am praying that my neice has a nice day. I don't want fireworks in the family to ruin her day. I will get another breather after this order ships out on Tuesday. Until then we will be cutting and sewing like crazy here.

Double whammy

My littlest is home sick with a stomach bug and I have insane morning sickness today. Ish. Then school called and my middle son got hit with a dodge ball. I will get my re-tested blood work results back this afternoon. I just need to make it through today...

Ack!

My internet has been bonkers for 2 days. We lost it for most of today and it was in and out yesterday. I'm still here, just a little crazy. My youngest had kindergarten graduation in the hot, hot sun today and the kids are officially out of school. I'm cranking out the last of our designs for 4th of July and so the next few days will be freaky. I should be my normal self again once I get the hang of the summer with kids again. We are putting a pool up tomorrow so that will be something for the kids to do.

I need to check my blogs tonight after the kids are in bed. Whew, I'm tired.

Yeah, I'm still here

We took a break for station identification and went to an Embassy Suites with the kids last night. I actually escaped the real world for something besides work. They didn't know we were going and I was trying hard to be vague. I met my husband at the hotel and we checked in and then went to the Manager's Reception in the atrium for about a half hour. Free drinks(yes, the adult version too) and lots of snacks, dips and such. So much for dinner. We then went to the pool and hot tub which was very cool(it had a waterfall) and we tried to wear them out. It got very crowded so we left in the early evening, cleaned up and went to dinner at Applebee's. By that time, they were falling asleep at the table to we came back to the hotel and we were all wiped out. In the morning, they had a complementary breakfast bar complete with made-to-order pancakes and omelets, bagels, meats, cereal, etc. So that was our night. Today I am back to real life and dealing with customers, and trying to get work done.
I had a meeting regarding my oldest son which went very well at school yesterday. I am praying so hard for everything to work out for our family. I know the priest that is staying is such a good man and he really has his plate full with such a growing parish. He is going to need our prayers and support but I have faith in him. If I think my last year has been difficult, I can only imagine what his has been like. I heard we have a most excellent seminarian who will be with us this summer too. Things are definitely looking up and I really can't ask for more.
Oh, also, I had a meeting with the nursing facility that will be providing respite for the boys(or for me, I should say). I have to use 80 hours between now and July 1st. That's 80 per boy. I know the boys will like it and hopefully they can work on some sensory issues with them, especially my oldest. I am off to sew and get something accomplished. Did I mention I lost 12 lbs.? That's very cool too. I hope this lasts...
Addition: I forgot to add that I found out our new choir/music director wants to become Jewish. Um, wow. My kids pegged it, I didn't give any opinion on her and the first day she played my middle son said "she's not Catholic". Kids know. She has never acknowledged the altar or gone to communion. Now all the crazy music makes perfect sense. It didn't matter if it sounded Catholic, Protestant or Buddhist. She has no interest in the Church. Oh Lord help us!

This is parent 1 and parent 2

The blatant stupidity on behalf of the lovely state of California is mind-numbing.
Ban on 'mom' and 'dad' considered – again
California agenda would require K-12 'gay' indoctrination
It scares me to death that the public school can FORCE the gay agenda on an innocent child and as parents, we have no say in the matter. I think all text books should have to use the photo above when talking about "parents" just to prove it's logical validity. The following are some neat highlights of this plan:

"Mom" and "dad" and "husband" and "wife" would have to be edited from all texts.

Cheerleading and sports teams would have to be gender-neutral.

Prom kings and queens would be banned, or if featured, would have to be gender neutral so that the king could be female and the queen male.

Gender-neutral bathrooms could be required for those confused about their gender identity.

A male who believes he really is female would be allowed into the women's restroom, and a woman believing herself a male would be allowed into a men's room.

Even scientific information, such has statistics showing AIDS rates in the homosexual community, could be banned.

While we are at it, let's also make all pet and animals non-gender specific when teaching biology or how we all descended from apes. And lets take down the boys and girls signs on the bathrooms so they can just guess. Then let's make all girls and boys wear identical uniforms so they aren't gender specific either. Someone from the state of California should contact me! I got all kinds of great ideas for gender neutrality!

Are Catholic schools really pro-life?

On another blog I frequent, the topic turned toward Catholic education. A comment was added about schooling autistic children in Catholic schools. Really, any special needs child in Catholic school. I had the benefit of an incredible generous and holy priest who allowed my 2 autistic boys to attend the parish school. My second son has a stronger form of Asperger's Syndrome and he has difficulty understanding complex instructions. I realize it has been challenging for the teachers and it will only get more so as he gets older. My desire for an orthodox Catholic education may out-weigh my sense of reality and I admit it. As a child from the Glory & Praise generation, I cannot allow my children to go through what I did and lose the jewels of the faith because someone feels the need to strum a guitar, hold hands and talk about social justice and the rain forest. That being said, I know the time may be coming to make some hard decisions. They attend a small school with a small budget that is already being strained. My oldest son is doing okay but the younger one is struggling and we can't seem to break through to help him. We had a local social worker tell us my boys would never make it past the 4th grade with their disability. In other words, get them in public school now before you regret it later. So I am sad today because tuition went up and it will be about $600 a month to send all three kids next year. The school I would love to send them probably will not take them because of the "autism factor". I have a 2/15 deadline to decide. I know other parents face this but not many really care about the faith factor. To me, faith is more important than education. Faith will get you through the toughest times in life. An education can't even guarantee you will get a job anymore.