Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I can't be strong every day

Today wasn't a good one. Wish I could put a happy face on my emotions but that wouldn't be truthful. Found out it was a full moon, my kids were crazy and combative. Other than that, I'm having pregnancy symptoms. That is so not cool. I have been making frequent trips to the bathroom, sore you know what's and emotional. I'm on the mega dose of prometrium so I feel a bit tortured. I can handle real pregnancy symptoms....I think about them often. So many pregnant people all over, it's really crazy right now. It's Lent, I suffer, I cry, I feel helpless, I offer it up and feel guilty. That's kinda the cycle of things.
If my posts lately seem all over the place, that's me in a nutshell. I daydream and have random thoughts and try to imagine my future throughout the day. It's not a pretty place to be. I feel like I'm falling all the time and can't grab on to anything to stop the fall.
I have been upping my prayers for my family for a baby and for my prayer buddy. I check her blog hoping for a positive event. I need sleep. We are going to a funeral and I have so much to do. We may take a school break for a day or two this week. My kids need it and I need it. We haven't had a full week of school off since we started last Fall. I think we need it. We are fairly far ahead so it should be fine.
I keep my IF blog friends in my prayers. I said a special prayer to ask St. Joseph's aid tonight. I hope God hears our prayers. I even got weepy over my lost babies today. Sigh. This has to change. I love my family and I need to remain functional. Even on prometrium.

3 comments:

Jeremiah 29:11 said...

This journey is so rough at times. I am going to start a novena to St. Joseph on 3/11 to end on his feast day on 3/19. I will post it on my blog! I love St. Joseph!

Trustful Surrender said...

I'm so sorry. I can understand the helplessness that you feel. Praying that you will feel the Lord pulling you up soon.

Tridentine Wife said...

Hi, I'm not sure if I've ever left an actual comment on your blog before. I'm a lurker, but I really enjoy reading about the Thorns. Prometrium was def. not fun to be on and I dread it like it no other when I have to start taking it again. I will offer up some prayers for you.