A quick one

Thank you for commenting on the fostering post awhile back. I am going through a rough patch with the 3 kids, starting them on a new diet(SCD) and not going so well. I don't think I will ever feel really good about my sons' autism. Right now, I'm in a bitter place and that is not good. I am putting too much pressure on myself to make them better, change things, change life and I just can't I know it is our goal to make sure our children have a better life than we do but sometimes, you just can't. It just doesn't work.

While I should be happy for pregnant friends and warmer weather, I'm just feeling really down. I need to find something to hope for, as usual. Maybe I need my sons to stay autistic, to do a better job accepting them and move on with trying to "help them" overcome autism.

I'm mad at the diet, mad at the government, tired of the world becoming autistic yet feeling overwhelmed. I often think that I don't know one person in my life that could handle a week in my shoes. That's not something to be positive about, not really. Unless I think that God trusted me, knew I'd be patient and strong and although I feel alone, most of the time, it has kept me clinging to Christ all these years.

So I will pray this week, decide what to do and move on, if I need to. There has to be another way. I just have to pray that I find it.

Some news, some snow and you know...

So I have a og friend who has baby news, I am so, so happy about. AYWH and her dh brought home their baby girl yesterday and it made my day, week and more! Honestly, this is more exciting than me finding out we are expecting(I'm not, I'm just saying, I have followed her blog so long and all...) So, if you need a lift and to witness God's amazing love for us, visit and see the happy family.
Next, we are recovering for what seemed like a crazy holiday with me on prometrium(ack, what side effects I had) and catching up with work related business and school. We have a large order to finish and ship and we are trying to complete our second quarter of homeschool. So I will be brief so I can get back to work before the kids come in dripping with snow.
I made a purchase this week for our homeschool classroom in hopes that it would solve some of the ADD issues we are having with staying on task and motivation my younger son to finish work and lessons. It should be delivered tomorrow and looks promising. It is called The Appreciation Station and it is a reward "vending machine" that you can adapt and use to suit your own needs and those of the child. Here is where we purchased it from, it is on clearance and a great price!


The Appreciation Station
For free shipping, use code 391467 at checkout.
Anyway, I am excited because it reiterates the parenting style I have consistently used with my boys(with much success) in rewarding positive behaviors. We plan on using coupons for time with mom or dad, family game and movie nights and some trinkets. I will report back how it works out.
Okay, I need to move on and get in a lot of work today. I would like to blog more but sometimes life gets crazy.
If you would like to follow me on Facebook(I'm much more active there now), post a comment(I won't publish) of how to find you and connect with you there. My frenetic life seems to be more short bursts/FB style at the present time. I'm not giving up the blog, I just know until summer, I will be busy...lol.

I don't know who is more anxious

The kids or me. The end of the school year is full of crazy stuff. Field trips, projects, music stuff and I am trying to figure out how I am going to adapt to a new lifestyle. When they come home, that's it. They are home for good. My hope is that homeschool will transform behaviors and self-esteem. I am trusting God this time and this is almost as "heavy duty" as when I trusted God by getting married instead of entering a convent. I have no idea what will happen. I can put other people(okay, my kids) on a schedule but I am not so good at it. Mostly because I have been working for myself now for 8 years. So in a way, I will be on a clock. We are sending in the registration this week and hope to get curriculum in June.

I have actually started a personal blog(where I don't have to write under a pen name) to share stories of home life, fertility, homeschool and autism. Mr. Thorn is *supposed* to be jumping in soon to post. For those that follow this blog that would like me to send you the link, just leave an email in the comments(I won't publish) and I will send you the link. We just needed a place to share pictures and be more in depth with our journey. So there you have it.

There is also a woman we know who has been instrumental with education and homeschool who is in the hospital and very sick. Please keep her in your prayers.