Monday, March 8, 2010

Hell hath no fury...

We just got back in town from a long week at Mr. Thorn's grandfather's funeral. It didn't go well(if you couldn't tell by the title). He was 96, his wife died the year we were married. He moved back down to Florida after that, met a woman close to his age and they lived in his condo as "companions", or so we thought. Turns out, they got married in 2007, and she never bothered to come to the funeral. Hmm. Odd. Her daughter, however shows up. The whole thing was uncomfortable. After most of the visitors leave, the remaining siblings gathered and we were told by Mr. Thorn's oldest brother that he "thinks" there may be another will and don't count on getting anything from grandpa's estate. So Mr. Thorn and I are shocked, no one else really let it phase them.
Now mind you, we are not materialistic money-grubbers. This meant "relief" for us from constantly being under. My husband was very close to his grandfather and we were always told the money would be there when grandpa died. He came from humble beginnings and was a self-made millionaire. I think what is so hard about all this is that was one of the only "keep going thoughts" that I had for years. I'm not going to lie, we have a difficult life. I run my own businesses(to be specific, about 5 businesses - a website, 2 other internet venues, a barter business, wholesale and a fabric business, I homeschool full time and I have two special needs sons and one daughter. My husband is in sales, too, so there are months we have very little income(due to economy, etc) I always thought I could keep this train wreck going until we had the inheritance money so I kept up this crazy life. We don't get "days or nights off". I'm just worn out.
So, back to the story. Fast forward to today. We now get conflicting stories that now there is no will(at all) and we should just forget about it.
So what do we do? A long time back a good priest friend of ours told me(regarding my in laws) "you are a christian, not a door mat". Those words haunted me this week. How is it a man who spent his whole life helping family and building this nest egg to pass on can get taken by a woman like this and my brother in law, the executor of the estate, does nothing and feels family is no longer entitled to this money? Sorry for this rant but we have been devastated and I can't wrap my head around it.
The woman he "married" is 92. Her family is the ones set to really gain from this arrangement. We were never informed we had been cut out of the will and we did nothing to deserve being cut out. (Mind you, she married him, whatever, at 92 I don't think they got married to have kids. She gets 30% off the top, I get that and can't dispute it) So now we need to decide if we want to go rogue, get a probate lawyer, request to see if there is a will and proceed, with or without the other siblings. I have had to read more about Florida law, trusts, wills, etc, than I care to. I wish it didn't have to come to this. The "executor" brother(who is a lawyer" is going down to Florida this week and has no intentions of doing anything other than recouping the expense of the burial. Unreal. Well, this is a slice of my life. Normally I don't blog about things of such a secular nature. This is just eating me up inside. I had hoped to use this money to pay off our debts(hospital bills, etc) and focus on homeschool and actually being a wife and mother for the first time in my married life. Unless I fight for this, it won't happen. I just don't know if I have it in me. I'm exhausted already.
And, yes, we have been offering our rosaries for his grandfather, praying about all this and hoping we find peace.


Milehimama said...

Oh, I am so very sorry for all of this heartsickness and turmoil! We had a similar thing happen to us in 2008 (no money involved, but my FIL's girlfriend PULLED THE PLUG on him without even calling us - we lived 15 minutes away) It was a nightmare and so very, very difficult.

I think you would be wise to consult a lawyer, a neutral, objective 3rd party because it is too hard for you fully consider everything when you are so "close" to people and situations. And I pray for peace for you.

Tridentine Wife said...

Wow, that is some bad news. I'm glad you've decided to fight against that and not let someone take advantage of you. I know what it's like to be swamped by hospital bills. Stay strong and offer it up always.

Agnes B Bullock said...

For your peace of mind- speak with an attorney. Something is definitely wrong- you have good instincts, so follow them.

Bonum, Verum, Pulchrum said...

FIGHT for it! Are you kidding? Grampa is in heaven now wishing he had given you the money, you who are raising a Catholic family. Prayers for you!