Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Going back

I'm leaving in a bit for another round of blood work. I feel very pregnant today which makes it hard. Nauseous, woozy, sore, I got it all. If I had given up hope, I wouldn't be going at all. Mr. Thorn is going with me, it is his last day off(he's still not 100%, can't eat solid food and voice is still bad). I will know tomorrow I suppose but what I will know may not even be definitive. If it continues to go up/goes up substantially I will wait awhile for another U/S and pray for a miracle. My tipped uterus makes it difficult to get anything on the sonogram and the other day was just weird. They really didn't know what they were seeing. I'm doing surprisingly well. I think I have wavered back to the hopeful camp and I blame it on the aspect of faith being "something there I cannot see". It also hit me like a ton of bricks in the middle of the night last night that I am trusting medical people and not God. It was weird. First thing I thought of when I woke in the dark last night. I also had a dream I met Hugo Chavez with my brother last night and we went to sight see in an amusement park with him. If that isn't a pregnancy dream, I don't know what is. Once this event passes, for better or worse, my blog won't be so "crisis" related. I'm just a bit on "auto pilot" right now with my life.


cordelia said...

make sure you are drinking enough fluids and eating properly...lack of both can make you more nauseous and feel generally bad...happens to me every so often and i think "oh i might be pregnant" and i'm not...tricks the body plays on us...seems so cruel to me...(not saying you're not pg. just saying dehydration and low blood sugar can make YOU feel worse at this time) God bless.

Tracy said...

Still praying.... Blessings sent your way!!

Anonymous said...

That's a pregnancy dream? I have dreams like that all the time! Praying for you.

God Bless!