Last day for labs, moving forward and ravioli

Today is the last day for my hormonal labs. Yeah. I need to make a follow up appointment for the labs and hope to move on and get serious about treatment. I'm on CD 32 with whacked symptoms. We shall see. Last month was 26 days, the two prior were 40 days. So, I hope we can make sense of this.
This weekend, we have our bi-annual Italian Dinner with ravioli and spaghetti. This takes place at Sacred Heart in Camp Washington(off I75) near Cincinnati. (October, 18th which is Sunday) Dinners start at noon and go until they run out of food. Cost is $5 kids and $10 adult and you receive A LOT of food.
On another note, we are becoming frustrated with changes at the church which I, for one, didn't see coming. They took ALL the votive candles out of our church and replaced them with electric. Needless to say, we have to light candles at other parishes now because I refuse to flick a switch for my offering(call me sentimental or nit-picky, I don't care). There is also a crazy hunt for "readers" for the English Mass and they must be having a hard time because it's in the bulletin every week. Weird. This was a very traditional parish. Other than those items, our Mass and loyal attendees remains the same(thank God). My prayer is that we some day have a well supported traditional parish in either Northern Kentucky or Cincinnati. No idea how long that might take. It needs to be financially sound and supported for sure. The SSPX church in Walton is much closer to completion so I hope we keep people in the Catholic fold. The only way this will happen is by providing a secure parish/home for traditionalists.

What's wrong with you?

I haven't posted in too long. I've been busy with work, homeschool to-do-list and life. No one tells you homeschool can be a lonely place. I'm posting this for my sanity and to make sense of it. I have prayed for a lonnnnnng time about homeschool and I didn't take the plunge until I was certain this is what God wants for us. Money has been beyond hard. It seems as if it became much worse after I decided to homeschool. I don't know why. I have many "don't know why's" in my life lately. I'm not trying to come out of the woodwork to be a downer, but I'm also not going to post about how happy and smiley life is if it's a lie. I like truth, even when it's not pretty. I know most if not all of the people around me think I have lost it wanting to homeschool. Honestly, we couldn't afford private school anymore(even if it was still an option). Both Mr. Thorn and I work in jobs that are sales based, not salary. So when sales aren't there, we have no money. So, I am going into this homeschool, totally relying on God to lead us and provide for us, because I can't do it anymore. I can still run my business but not with the same amount of time I did before. I am hoping for miracles because I can't see, with my realistic eyes, a way for this to work. I am trusting that God sees how this will work. I have taken many leaps like this in the past but this one will have a huge impact on my children. So we are off, come what may and I really don't have a plan B.

On another note, I had another 40 day cycle. I had two rounds of labs drawn and no progesterone spike to signal the big P(even though chart was great and CM) so I am scheduled for an ultrasound this week. I'm so busy with life that I don't have time to fret over what may be wrong. I will keep you all posted.
I don't want to be discouraged, I want to have hope and be thankful. I know where fear comes from, and doubt. It is a struggle to keep them at bay. I will post on my homeschool/personal blog this week and update regularly since we are starting soon, ordering books, etc.

I can't do this. Any of this. Without God.