Thursday, February 24, 2011

A quick one

Thank you for commenting on the fostering post awhile back. I am going through a rough patch with the 3 kids, starting them on a new diet(SCD) and not going so well. I don't think I will ever feel really good about my sons' autism. Right now, I'm in a bitter place and that is not good. I am putting too much pressure on myself to make them better, change things, change life and I just can't I know it is our goal to make sure our children have a better life than we do but sometimes, you just can't. It just doesn't work.

While I should be happy for pregnant friends and warmer weather, I'm just feeling really down. I need to find something to hope for, as usual. Maybe I need my sons to stay autistic, to do a better job accepting them and move on with trying to "help them" overcome autism.

I'm mad at the diet, mad at the government, tired of the world becoming autistic yet feeling overwhelmed. I often think that I don't know one person in my life that could handle a week in my shoes. That's not something to be positive about, not really. Unless I think that God trusted me, knew I'd be patient and strong and although I feel alone, most of the time, it has kept me clinging to Christ all these years.

So I will pray this week, decide what to do and move on, if I need to. There has to be another way. I just have to pray that I find it.


Leila @ Little Catholic Bubble said...

Oh, hon, I'm praying for you. You are amazing and strong and good, and just the perfect mother for those boys. HUGS!

Defend Us In Battle said...

No one could handle a week in your shoes! That is why God put you in them!

Will pray for you... and I know you will find your way/

the misfit said...

I know the "these people couldn't handle a week in my shoes" feeling, for sure. But I'm not claiming I could handle a week in your shoes!

Abbey said...

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Abbey ♥

Dave Rosen said...

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Tracy said...

do you think having your children on a special diet helps? I ask because my 9 yr old niece is severely autistic and I often wonder if it would be helpful for her. She is a crazy picky eater and sometimes I wonder how my brother and his wife get anything into her.. she just refuses to sit down and eat for more than a couple of minutes and then she is off running and refuses another bite (she is very tiny).

a thorn in the pew said...

We did not last on the SCD diet for the kids. It was so much work and we have such a high-functioning type autism that there was no change in behavior. The reason some autistic children are so small is because they have what is called "leaky gut syndrome". You can google it and see why, it is a form of malabsorbtion.

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