Sunday, January 25, 2009

Facebook. It's testing my faith

Here's the thing. I have met some great blog friends(commenter's and blog owners) through Facebook. That is a positive. It has become an extension of my blog. Here is the crap part. In the last week, I have seen how many people support abortion. It turns my stomach. I just added a new one to my list this morning. Yesterday, it was my sister-in law, last week, a friend in college. Today it was a designer friend of mine. Yes, I have been vocal about my pro life stance and posting articles about Obama and the dealings in Washington. It is important to me and my Catholic friends have read and commented on my findings(including my husband). But as a "touche" some people have decided it would be fun and make my skin crawl if they joined the cause "Planned Parenthood" or put that their favorite bumper sticker is "keep the US out of my uterus(misspelled on her posting). It's the ugly side of good vs. evil. In my ignorant days, I was a feminist and held these beliefs. They are not totally foreign to me. I know how people get there(through ignorance and lack of grace). Does it change my opinion of them? Yes. I can't change the way I feel. I think most women who support abortion(especially after having children) have either had one in the past or have unresolved feminist anger in there. Either an unhappy marriage, feeling abandoned, hatred of their own body or having a severe hate complex toward men.
So this leads me to a crossroad. I either drop them as a Facebook friend(which I have already done with some in laws), stop posting any causes near and dear to my heart(save them for my blog), continue posting them to hopefully have an impact and sway them toward the truth or just get the heck off Facebook.
Facebook can be a great tool, albeit addictive, when you have people like those of us Catholic bloggers all on there as one. It can also be deadly when it comes to family, marriage and re-connecting with old classmates. Does the good outweigh the bad? I am still out on this one. I have seen a very ugly side to some people in my family and they may now say the same of me. I don't think I have any big cover-up going on(with those I know). I am and will always be a devout Catholic and hold dear all the traditions and social causes my faith teaches. But my passion has apparently rubbed some the wrong way. They were perfectly cool with having an abortion(the ones I know of never went on to have children, even after trying). How am I to be sensitive to that knowing they don't regret their abortion(or at least they want to appear all strong and puffed up about how there is no regrets). I do feel I need to back off Facebook, regardless. The one thing I can say about blogging is that I don't constantly have trolls coming here on a daily basis. Yes, I have had them, but that is what comment moderation is for. It is my blog. If you don't like what I am saying or have and opinion, say it respectfully and I will post it. If you want to resort to threatening me or being crass, start your own blog.
Anyone has the right to free speech in this country. But on Facebook, you will find out more than you want to know about some people. It is just weird to be thrown into a soup of people who not only don't agree with me but feel they need to throw the feminist abortion rights ball in my face. That's a very ugly place to be. If you had an abortion, years ago, and now as a married responsible adult, cannot bear children, where does that leave you? With no regrets? Or guilt? Or utter sadness? Or more angry and hate-filled toward the pro-lifers. I suppose it can go either way. Hating pro-lifers is easier because it takes the burden and guilt off you.
Regardless, I will pray for these women. We all should. It is the dirty side of our cause. While I feel obligated to present the truth, it has consequences. Loss of friends, family and past relationships may be it. And the truth about Facebook is that it rids us of human face-to-face contact. We become more emboldened to say who we really are. For some, who they really are isn't very pretty. I think the social networking sites will cause more damage to our society in the end. They work when it is all with people whom you share opinions. They get nasty when you have every religion and political agenda in one big mess. So that is my dilemma for the week.
(Eww. Sorry for the really long post, I got carried away).


cordelia said...

yep i've had the same thing happen..."friended" an old college buddy and the first pict. i saw on his page was him standing next to the tv when Obama was giving his dem. nom. acceptance speech with two thumbs up. my jaw hit the floor. another friend blocked ME; i think because of my conservative, religious views. so now i'm determined to say what i think and if they want to block me, so be it.

Adrienne said...

I think blogging is way more addictive than Facebook. Buuuut - I don't join groups, poke people, or do any of the other 1000 and 1 things others do on Facebook.

I like the status updates and the quick comment.

As to the people that are annoying you (yes, even your family), just take them off your friends list. They are not notified when you do this and most will not even notice.

If you quit Facebook because of their bad behavior then they have "won"

Beth said...

Feel free to add me as a friend. I promise I won't say anything stupid :) I have dropped several people off my friends list, especially around the election.

FloridaWife said...

Look. I know it is uncomfortable because I was where you are at with this crossroads.

Stay on Facebook because you enjoy it. Be YOU. Do not hold back. Go ahead and post whatever article you want. If ANYONE messes with you and tries to fight with you in the comments, I and a bunch of other pro-lifers will be there. We have your back. So, go ahead and be you.

I know what you mean about finding out that some people are pro-choice. Annoying. I just kind of pigeon-hole it, and I don't pick fights with them. They are there. I've known them since High School or whenever, and abortion will be an issue we will not discuss. I have discovered that my friends who are pro-choice have not been picking any fights with me, and I am not picking any on their pages either. I will continue to type on there what I want and post what I want and I won't hold back.

So, don't hold back. Be YOU. THEY certainly are vocal about their view, aren't they? Well, be vocal about yours.