We are finally getting the invitations out for the first communion today. I hope we have a decent turnout. I have no way of knowing. The caterer isn't returning our calls so I pray that we get that taken care of(somehow). Being thrown back into life is creepy. Necessary but creepy. I was anxious while I was away, knowing I had so much to do here and wasn't working.
We also have the school decision looming over the whole family. I have been waiting for God to hit me over the head with the answer and I can tell you, it's been mostly mixed signals. My oldest son is getting wonderful grades. A far cry from his old school where he was feeling totally lost and overwhelmed. My middle son is struggling and not making any friends and is really quite on the edge of missing everything important. My youngest is bored and talks a lot(but gets straight A's). So that leaves me with what can I do. I still have to run my business and can't totally give that up to home school. I have special needs boys who struggle with academics as well as some behavioral issues. When it gets down to it, it's just me and them. People will say they will help or be there but I can't count on it. I need to make sure I can do this totally alone, while running my business and keeping up with the household. If I didn't have to work, it would be a no-brainer.
It saddens me to think of our dreams of another child, adoption, etc. That is an unknown and I have had trouble visiting that issue. I have not had time to deal with "me", including my health or fertility. I have put everyone else first since the losing the twins. I really feel everyone has given up on me every carrying a baby to term let alone getting pregnant again. Not having hope in something is a scary place to be. I have always said "keep hoping and keep faith in God's plan for you". I haven't seen signs of a light at the end of the tunnel for our family(and our hopes for a baby). There is a fine balance of hoping for life and becoming selfish about the matter. I have three children, I have lost 4, I hope for one. Some days I feel selfish, some days I have no hope. Some days I read stories about my blog friends who have been given a cross of infertility and my heart breaks and I pray that my suffering and loss be offered up so they may know and be given the gift of life they so desire. I didn't mean to go off on the fertility/miscarriage road but it is obviously a factor in our lives or I could lay it to rest. I am not at peace with it. I apologize to God every day for this.
On another note, I am living in a diocese where our bishop has NOT made a statement of any kind on the Notre Dame scandal. Either he has no opinion, doesn't care or doesn't want to hurt some one's feelings who voted for Obama. Who knows. It's gets me worked up that people give him a pass. What kind of leader is that? Have an opinion, stand firm for Holy Mother Church and her traditions and what it means to be Catholic. I'm tired of Covington pretending to be protestant. I see it in the Mass and in the attitude of the people. It's too milk toast for me(and many). Be catholic in all areas of life. Period.
***The bishops who have so far expressed disapproval of Notre Dame's invitation to Obama (in alphabetical order) are:
1. Bishop John D'Arcy - Fort Wayne-South Bend, IN
2. Bishop Samuel Aquila - Fargo, ND
3. Bishop Gregory Aymond - Austin, TX
4. Bishop Gerald Barbarito - Palm Beach, FL
5. Bishop Leonard Blair - Toledo, OH
6. Archbishop Daniel Buechlein - Indianapolis, IN
7. Bishop Robert Baker - Birmingham, AL
8. Bishop Fabian Bruskewitz - Lincoln, NE
9. Archbishop Eusebius Beltran - Oklahoma City, OK
10. Auxiliary Bishop Oscar Cantú - San Antonio, TX
11. Bishop Paul Coakley - Salina, KS
12. Cardinal Daniel DiNardo - Houston, TX
13. Archbishop Timothy Dolan - New York, NY
14. Bishop Thomas Doran - Rockford, IL
15. Auxiliary Bishop John Dougherty - Scranton, PA
16. Bishop Robert Finn - Kansas City-St. Joseph, MO
17. Cardinal Francis George - Chicago, IL; President, USCCB
18. Bishop Gerald Gettelfinger - Evansville, IN
19. Archbishop José Gomez - San Antonio, TX
20. Bishop William Higi - Lafayette, IN
21. Archbishop Alfred Hughs - New Orleans, LA
22. Bishop Joseph Latino - Jackson, MS
23. Bishop Jerome Listecki - La Crosse, WI
24. Bishop William E. Lori - Bridgeport, CT
25. Bishop George Lucas - Springfield, IL
26. Bishop Robert Lynch - St. Petersburg, FL
27. Bishop Joseph Martino - Scranton, PA
28. Bishop Charles Morlino - Madison, WI
29. Bishop George Murry - Youngstown, OH
30. Archbishop John J. Myers - Newark, NJ
31. Bishop R. Walker Nickless - Sioux City, IA
32. Archbishop John C. Nienstedt - St. Paul-Minneapolis, MN
33. Archbishop Edwin O'Brien - Baltimore, MD
34. Bishop Thomas Olmsted - Phoenix, AZ
35. Archbishop Daniel E. Pilarczyk - Cincinnati, OH
36. Bishop Kevin Rhoades - Harrisburg, PA
37. Bishop Alexander Sample - Marquette, MI
38. Bishop Edward J. Slattery - Tulsa, OK
39. Bishop Richard Stika - Knoxville, TN
40. Bishop Anthony Taylor - Little Rock, AR
41. Bishop Robert Vasa - Baker, OR
42. Bishop Thomas Wenski - Orlando, FL
I need to catch up with all my orders. I hope to read up on blogs I missed while I was away later tonight.
(***From
lifesitenews.com)
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