Saturday, June 23, 2007
Not going to stop praying...
I've had a spiritual hiccup(so to speak) and wasn't in the mood to figure it out. I need a glimpse into why I should still have hope in this diocese I am stuck in. I'm tired of the gay priests getting kudos(yes, practising gay priest), mediocrity being the name of the game and the hypocrisy of the pro-life environment that has taken the place of the true soldiers in the pro-life battle being so front and center. I'm aware that it is spiritual warfare, well aware. Honestly, I read blogs from other parts of the country just to keep my hope. I see good bishops doing good and I get through another day. I keep hoping things will change here and they don't. It gets worse. If you have a good priest or bishop, don't take it for granted, tell them. There are many out there and that is very reason I have hope. We are all going to be accountable for events in our lives where we failed to stand for truth. I also believe that things that are in the dark will come to light. If you don't believe in what the Catholic faith teaches, find somewhere else to call home. This is not a democracy nor is it a religion of invention. Venting....yes, I know. I love Christ and my Catholic faith but I despise when I see people leaving the Church because of bad theology or religious/laypeople who make up exceptions and new rules. I wake up sad every day over my brother leaving the Church. I know the reason and it angers me. I'm human and I can't help it. I get emotional when I realize I don't have a parish to call home. I continue to pray and try to find answers to give my children and I come up empty. What can I say? I'm tired of having to explain. I had an episode the past month that set me in a tailspin. I did not blog about it at the time because I was in shock. I still don't know how to put it into words and formulate a "why". There is no excuse for certain behaviors in the Church. Do not put me in a position where I have to explain things that just shouldn't happen to my husband and children.
I am obviously in a difficult spot and hope to continue to pray about this and other things. I pray that God has mercy on our diocese and helps to bring about goodness and change. My family is so splintered and I can only hope that one day things get better. I have to go to another family get-together. I will have to deal more on this later. In the meantime, I am not going to stop praying.
I am obviously in a difficult spot and hope to continue to pray about this and other things. I pray that God has mercy on our diocese and helps to bring about goodness and change. My family is so splintered and I can only hope that one day things get better. I have to go to another family get-together. I will have to deal more on this later. In the meantime, I am not going to stop praying.
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6 comments:
Dear Thorn in the Pew,
God bless you. I, too am part of the limbo that is the Covington Diocese. We have gone through such a rollercoaster of hope and dashed hopes that things will finally turn around. My family and I often feel like we have no home although we try to participate as much as we can in our parish. They are happy for us to help-- but don't like our ideas-- more reverence, more confession,... We are viewed as odd-- we genuflect prior to receiving our Lord! Prayer is the only way, but it is so very frustrating and often incredibly lonely. It's nice to know there are others who feel as we do. God bless!
While it is good to hear we are not alone, it is sad that we must suffer this with no where to go. Do you ever attend the indult at the Cathedral? It is the only place we feel the least bit comfortable. People on the outside have no idea because we are a smaller diocese and the "photo-ops" and surface changes look like we are moving in the right direction. The truth is, I am finding evidence of more cover-ups, more unrest and more mockery of the Mass every day. We miss being part of a parish.
I love the Tridentine Mass at the Cathedral, but have a difficult time getting there regularly-- we are often helping at our own parish or cross the river for Confession as I said. I am planning to go in a couple of weeks-- I need to be fed! My husband is a convert of 5 years-- he has not yet been to the Tridentine Mass--I'm not sure what he will think-- my oldest daughter and youngest son have gone with me and love it! One of the greatest difficulties is going to daily Mass--I wish to go and dread it at the same time. Adoration seems safer-- I worry that my oldest son who serves sees much irreverence and that it will affect him negatively. I wish I knew what to do or where to go.
We were at a parish for over 10 years and when they placed a new priest there, he was very liberal, made many changes and we stayed as long as we could and gave up. I know that All Saints and Divine Mercy are the "safer" parishes out there. There is really no where to go that doesnt have drums, guitars or protestant craziness(except the aforementioned). We just need to keep praying...what else can we do?
We must continue to pray and support any and all signs of orthodoxy that exist in the diocese. I know some of the seminarians going through right now are pretty orthodox, some even preferring the Traditional Latin Mass to the Novus Ordo. If there is one thing that Bishop Foys has helped with, it is bringing orthodox men to answer the call to the priesthood. Pray for these good men, and pray for more to come! Though it is hard now, the Lord will watch over us and protect us.
St. Paul, patron of our diocese, pray for us!
I do, I promise. The last week has been especially hard to swallow. The indult is the only reason many of us haven't jumped the river to Old St. Mary's permanently. I have hope in the future and that is all I can say.
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