Not going to stop praying...

I've had a spiritual hiccup(so to speak) and wasn't in the mood to figure it out. I need a glimpse into why I should still have hope in this diocese I am stuck in. I'm tired of the gay priests getting kudos(yes, practising gay priest), mediocrity being the name of the game and the hypocrisy of the pro-life environment that has taken the place of the true soldiers in the pro-life battle being so front and center. I'm aware that it is spiritual warfare, well aware. Honestly, I read blogs from other parts of the country just to keep my hope. I see good bishops doing good and I get through another day. I keep hoping things will change here and they don't. It gets worse. If you have a good priest or bishop, don't take it for granted, tell them. There are many out there and that is very reason I have hope. We are all going to be accountable for events in our lives where we failed to stand for truth. I also believe that things that are in the dark will come to light. If you don't believe in what the Catholic faith teaches, find somewhere else to call home. This is not a democracy nor is it a religion of invention. Venting....yes, I know. I love Christ and my Catholic faith but I despise when I see people leaving the Church because of bad theology or religious/laypeople who make up exceptions and new rules. I wake up sad every day over my brother leaving the Church. I know the reason and it angers me. I'm human and I can't help it. I get emotional when I realize I don't have a parish to call home. I continue to pray and try to find answers to give my children and I come up empty. What can I say? I'm tired of having to explain. I had an episode the past month that set me in a tailspin. I did not blog about it at the time because I was in shock. I still don't know how to put it into words and formulate a "why". There is no excuse for certain behaviors in the Church. Do not put me in a position where I have to explain things that just shouldn't happen to my husband and children.

I am obviously in a difficult spot and hope to continue to pray about this and other things. I pray that God has mercy on our diocese and helps to bring about goodness and change. My family is so splintered and I can only hope that one day things get better. I have to go to another family get-together. I will have to deal more on this later. In the meantime, I am not going to stop praying.

This is what it is like...

...here. That is just the theme. Piles of fabric, thread, lint, scraps....you get the picture. In the midst of this huge order, I am taking a 5 minute break to reload on caffiene. I hope I am not missing any breaking news in the blog world. Order due in less than 35 hours!