Thursday, May 3, 2007

The "Clinton and Stacy" Effect


I hope I am not alone. Stacy and Clinton have invaded my brain. I look at my shoes, they would hate them and throw them in the can. I tried on a "peep toe" today, my toes looked like they were trying to escape from a "foot funnel". I'm in the dressing room judging everything I put on by the "Clinton and Stacy" effect. I'm hearing Stacy go "See how they make your hips look really wide?" so back on the rack it goes. It's hard enough to find modest clothing for church that is attractive and not "granny". Now I have Stacy and Clinton in my brain. Which is probably why the show is so popular. They are in women's brains. I need to see if there is a way to remove this so I can freely shop and get dressed again. My worst nightmare? They show up as I am scurrying out of my house and grab me and call me a fashion victim and that my family and friends think I need.....help. Then all the people I adore come out from no where and try and hug me and I cry and tell them they aren't getting gifts from me this year.
By the way, this is what happens when I drink too much caffeine in the afternoon. I need shoes. Badly.

3 comments:

Jacob said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
a thorn in the pew said...

Ha! Cassocks are cool, btw. probably because I never saw them as a kid and now I feel like it's God's way of saying "Things will be okay, we are moving in the right direction" In it's simplicity, it is still a humble statement.

Ma Beck said...

Yes, Jacob.
Cassocks are masculine and super-cool.
My priests wear cassocks, and once, we went to dinner with one of them (who's 6'4) and I remarked that it was like being out with the Matrix guy.
Pants are going the way of felt banners. (Correction: I mean "just pants, with no cassock on top.")
I'm going to make a bumper sticker.
"Roman Catholic priest? Consider a cassock!"
;)