I've always been confused about NFP in the sense that - well, those who are not catholic point out that it doesn't really work. And I always thought, well, therein lies the morality! You remain *open* to children, but you avoid conception as best you can through an ineffectual method. So I thought that it was interesting when a commenter said that NFP was only permissible under extraordinary circumstances, and that *short* of extraordinary circumstances, one should not resort to NFP but should abstain entirely. And this is sort of baffling, no? Given that Catholics are, as a rule, required to be open to children, it seems strange (to me) that the hierarchy would be:
1. you have no problems? then ordinary marital relations, children as they come...
2. minor problems? NO marital relations, NO children.
3. grave problems? (i.e. life of mother) - then, NFP - *possibly* no children, quite possibly yes.
Is this accurate?
thanks so much,
Maura
a thorn in the pew's response:
NFP, as we have used it for 11 years is highly effective. One big difference between NFP and illicit forms of birth control is we used it quite often to achieve pregnancy. You cannot do that with condoms, pill, others. The other difference is that NFP is not an abortifacient(the pill will allow egg to be fertilized and "abort" that newly conceived baby by not allowing it to implant). I have not met a couple who claim that NFP does not work. Using NFP prohibits the use of abortifacients and barrier methods and encourages the education of a woman's cycle and natural fertility signs. If we are avoiding pregnancy(notice I say we, not I) we simply choose not to use fertile days. In a marriage, there are valid reasons to abstain and the church recognizes this. We have been, throughout our marriage not just open to children, but also have a strong desire to add more children when most of the world has told us "you have two special needs kids, why could you possibly want any more?" So to say that because there is a problem, a couple wouldn't want more is untrue. The complexity lies when you have marginal Catholics using NFP other than the way it was intended. That was the question raised in the post I had on NFP. NFP is not birth control. It is a communication tool that can be used throughout a marriage and helps a couple focus on where they would like the family to grow. Woman who don't use NFP bear the burden of when it doesn't work, it is all their fault. As far as a couple who has grave reasons never to have children? I can't imagine a reason so grave that would keep them from ever conceiving a child. The only point I see that is totally true would be #1, no problems, NFP used to have children every month.(There is the subject of breastfeeding to space children naturally that comes into play under these circumstances as well.) I hope this helps, I will publish this as a post if there are other NFP couples that would like to add to this.
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