Monday, July 30, 2007

Music and the cup parade

This entry probably would have been better titled "how do I go back?". In the past year, God has led my family and I to the Traditional Mass and I have grown so much in my appreciation and awe of all things traditional. We have been going back to our "home" parish for daily Mass with the kids but I am still in such limbo. The weekday Mass is just fine, it's not a stress on me nor am I on guard, it's just simple as it should be. I just have a "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" mentality. Yes, I know, that's my weakness/my problem. I have just really felt a peace on Sundays for the last 7 or 8 months since we have regularly been praying the Tridentine Mass. Sundays are easy, relaxing, we treat each other nice and my children behave at that Mass. There is a sense of the sacred, a calm and a supernatural that I still can't find in the Novus Ordo(will I ever?). In a way, it saddens me. I missed going to daily Mass. Now, I just don't know what will happen. I thought I did, but the best laid it goes.
It is my hope that I will find the answers I am searching for while on vacation. I need to be away from here to pray and think clearly as I'm just stuck right now. How do people know what they are missing if they have never experienced it? I knew, but couldn't find it. Now that I have, can I go back to the cup parade and the heretical songs? I need a reason to go back to that. So far, I can't think of one. I can't do that "community" thing. It's not me. I miss being a part of a parish. A lot. I just can't sacrifice everything I have gained spiritually for the comfort of a parish. Baby steps. I hope that maybe Summorum Pontificum will have an effect on our parish and diocese. That is my hope. I have such hope in the future of our church. It is the present I am not so sure about.

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